Pleasing jokes

Hey any riding with Biden fans out there?

I ran out of gas and could really use a ride so if one of ya'll can call me and pick me up that'd be great and I can't get gas because I only have 20 bucks which is like 1-5 and a half, help me please.

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

How emos propose: Would you please join my family tree?

If you're a girl, please comment.

Daddy, good morning, please, I want too, but Davido's second-hand towel is 2.5 million.

I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.

After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says "WTF!"

What did the horses say to the donkeys?

"Jackasses, please like!"

Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

"Butter, butter, and butter, please, please bring me butter."

Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.

Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.

Please comment! :)

"Hey Kenya, can we talk please!"

Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

A blonde crashes an airplane.

Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

Officer: *face palms self*

Also officer: Here's your sign.

Shush, you schmuck! Please read!

My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

I said, "Maybe."

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.