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Pleasing jokes

Scooter

The sad thing is when they ride the scooters in Wal-Mart... Really, you declining to walk is what got your fat ass in that scooter to begin with... And damned if they aren't buying diet soda... Please... cull this shit... We don't need them in society... KFC is not a disease.

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    • Towel

    Daddy, good morning, please, I want too, but Davido's second-hand towel is 2.5 million.

    Joke club

    I AM SFLUGO FOUNDER OF THE PRO ORPHAN JOKE CLUB. Just want to say that people spamming does nothing and we will keep making our jokes!! #SaveOrphanJokes and please say in the comments if you want to join the club.

    Memes

    Pleasing memes

    Masturbation

    Life isn't about pleasing yourself and that you have to do things for the sole benefit of God.

    It’s like masturbation. Sometimes it’s not getting yourself off, but getting someone else off too. That’s what thighjobs are for.

    Song

    Please go subscribe to Kane Brown, people; he has good songs. Please go subscribe to him, please.

    Parent

    Has anyone walked in on their parents making love? I have.

    Please comment! :)

    Friend

    Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*

    All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?

    People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!

    People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)

    Airplane

    A blonde crashes an airplane.

    Officer: Could you please explain to me what happened?

    Woman: It got so cold in the plane, I turned the fan off.

    Officer: *face palms self*

    Also officer: Here's your sign.

    Child

    My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children.

    If anybody does, please just send me your contact details, and we can drop them off tomorrow.

    Singing

    My wife asked me to please quit singing "Wonderwall" in the shower.

    I said, "Maybe."

    Hell

    This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

    God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."