Parental absence jokes

Can you make me a bowl of cereal? Oh wait, your dad never came back with the milk.

Knock, knock.

"Who's there?"

Not your dad.

Why do orphans eat cereal with milk?

Because their dad never came back with the milk.

My friend Jimmy said his dad is exactly like Santa. I asked, "Why is it because he gives people presents?" Jimmy told me, "No, it's because I hear so many good things about him and how he's gonna come home, but never see him."

I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.

Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"

Orphan: -no response-

Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.

You see a kid on the side of the street crying, so you go up to them and say, "Where are your parents?" The kid says, "What are parents?"