Orphans jokes
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because when he was told "go big or go home," he only had one option.
What do you call an orphan taking a picture of themself?
A family photo.
Me: Hey, are your parents home?
Orphan: (crying) Stop calling here!
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why do orphans die young?
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Orphans are so useless even their parents agree.
Why can you hit an orphan?
Because they can’t tell their parents.
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient times?
Because they don’t know what a mummy is.
Why are orphans bad at baseball? Because they can't hit home runs.
What did the girl and the orphan have in common? Their parents weren't home.
What is the difference between an orphan and a non-orphan? You can slap the orphan, but not the non-orphan because they can actually tell their parents.
Why can't orphans be gay?
'Cause they can't call anyone "Daddy."
Why did the orphan go to the monkey exhibit?
To see his closest relatives.
What’s the difference between an orphan and Pikachu?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making it into a house and hallucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said, "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies aren't real. You can't and will never get a home."
Next day, they make cardboard parents, so I threw that away and said, "Pay attention to reality; you will never get parents."
Next day, they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again, I said, "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent!" The orphan responded with, "Oh, really?! How so?" I just simply said, "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard, and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat old people!"
Why do prepubescent orphan girls love pedophiles? Because they get to call someone “Daddy”.
Why can you hit an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.
Why are orphans never in jail?
Because they're never wanted.
Why do orphans hate cereal?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.