One Direction jokes

What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?

"Juan Direction."

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

Which band doesn’t make music?

One Direction.

Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Which way do gay men walk?

One Direction.

Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!

What rock has four men that don't sing?

One Direction.

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

What's simultaneously up and down?

A retard on a plane.

My wife said I have no sense of direction.

I said, "Where did that come from?"

Americans be like: "Here is the US, we drive on the right side of the road."

England be like: "Here in the UK, we drive on the left side of the road."

Russians after a car accident be like: "Here in Russia, road is road."