One Direction jokes

What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?

"Juan Direction."

I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.

Yo mama so ugly, she made the band One Direction go the other direction!

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

I’d like to be a One Direction poster because I want to be nailed to the wall by a teenage girl ;)

Which band doesn’t make music?

One Direction.

Orphans are so unwanted that when One Direction saw one, it went the other direction.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

Yo mama so ugly, she made One Direction go the other direction.

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Which way do gay men walk?

One Direction.

Yo Mamma's so ugly, she made One Direction turn into the other direction!

What rock has four men that don't sing?

One Direction.

A teacher asked his students a math question.

"You have one dollar. Your parents give you five dollars. How much money do you have?"

After some thinking, about half the class raised their hands. The teacher called on a little girl in the front.

"One dollar!" she said.

So, I was going out the door and I see my dwarf neighbor at the bus stop. I ask if he needs a lift. He replies with "fu.. off." So, I zip up my backpack and keep going to work.

Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.

What's simultaneously up and down?

A retard on a plane.

Slavery and discipline, it's kind of the same thing. You get whipped for doing the wrong thing.