Your mom is so ugly you look like her oh got em
Ur dad oh wait you don’t have that
It’s a bird It’s a plane Oh shit it is a plane
Ur mum -oh wait,you don’t have that
This is why orphans are dangerous with cardboard. They either start eating it or making into a house and halucinating that they have a family.
So I threw out the cardboard and said "You have to stay in reality. Fantasies arent real. You cant and will never get a home"
Next day they make cardboard parents so i threw that away and said "May attention to reality, you will never get parents:
Next day they start acting like parents and tell me what to do. Again I said "Snap to reality. You will never be a parent" The orphan responded with "Oh really?! How so" I just simply said "You don't have a house and parents. You literally like eating cardboard and then you make parents out of it. You like to eat out old people!"
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked "mom I have hair on my privates, what is it?" "OH, honey that's your monkey." The mom says So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says "my monkey has hair on it" the sister replies with a laugh "you think that's cool my monkey is already eating bananas
Oh Hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey guys do u know I saw a guy with dementia oh hey do u know I saw a guy with dementia
Someone: I got chickens out there vibin Me: What? oh you mean those over sized chickens that just shows an example of you in real life Someone: . . .
me before: why do bandanas exist they ugly me after seeing ur hairline: oh i seee me giving pro tip: get a bandana LMAO
we should give whoever killed hitler a statue oh wait nevermind.
My fucking balls hurt so god damn bad oh my god
Doctor: I have bad news. Man: What? Doctor: There are two things wrong with you. First, you have cancer. Man: Oh, no... Doctor: Second, you have Alzheimer's. Man: Well, at least I don't have cancer!
I was at work and then a little kid came up to me and she said “what happened to all the parents?” She sounded so confused so i told her “its only yours kid, they left you on purpose” she cried i felt bad for a second and the thought oh well time to back to my job at the orphanage
So a lady was walking down the street with two bags and one of the bags was leaking $100 bills and a cop pulls up and he says “ma’am ma’am your bag is leaking hundred dollar bills” then she says “Oh thank you I wonder how long that’s been going on” and the cop says “ before I help you may I ask why your bag is leaking $100 bill” and the Lady says “OK I’ll tell you so I live next to a stadium and I have this beautiful rose garden but he’s dumb teenagers always try and pee on the rosebushes so they stick their junk through the fence and I grabbed your junk I said $100 dollars or its coming off” the cop says “oh OK well what’s the other bag for” and she says well not all of them want to give me $100.
friend: how's it going? me: good, things are good! parent: how are you? me: oh I'm fine! Twitter: compose new tweet? me: hellooooo l would like to tell you about my anxiety & my current greatest fears & let's talk about the impending apocalypse while we're at it
Oh wella I.H.N! I.H.N!! I.H.N
