I remember Grandpa's last words, "Oh, shit! It's in drive!"
Russian, American, and Polish stood by the lake shore.
Russian ran ahead to dive and yelled "vodka" and the lake changed into vodka.
Polish ran ahead to dive and yelled "beer" and the lake changed into beer.
American ran to dive, slipped, and said, "oh shit."
I wonder if Stephen Hawking heard the song "Gangster's Paradise." Oh, shit, he can't!
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
