Nuclear Power jokes

Everyone's always saying they're so worried about America's big button, the one that controls all the nuclear power. I'm not worried about that... I'm worried about the idiot on the end of it.

What is the strongest weapon in India?

The red button (this is a fact).

In a thick Russian accent:

"Let's buy some vodka, pollute the earth with oil, and make insecure nuclear power plants that break all the time! Ah, yes. The mother land. A great place to be. Not like those stupid Ukrainian people who are living happy lives, they are crazy and need to die."

I can count the number of times I've been to Chernobyl on one hand. -- It's seven.

Did you know when scientists discovered atoms could split, it blew them all away?

It's said Duracell batteries are supposed to last 75 years, well Stephen, here you are.

Do you know why the Japanese have squinted eyes? Because nukes are bright.

What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"