No jokes
What do you call a fish with no eye?
A one-eyed fish, you smart ass!
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
What do you do with a dog that has no legs?
Take him for a drag.
Chuck Norris has been to Mars... that's why there are no signs of life there.
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
She had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Them: "You're ugly."
Me: "No, as ugly as your extra chromosome."
Someone said to me they like greasy food with gravy.
I said no wonder your forehead's so greasy.
What does a man with no arms or legs do on Halloween?
Nothing.
Have you ever seen the clown in Walmart that hides from gay people?
No..... Really?
Hahaha
Grasshole.
The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.
Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
No, you!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
OK, there are at least 3 pedophiles in your neighborhood.
But there are no pedophiles in my neighborhood; there are only three 10-year-old girls with juicy asses.
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
Gloves!
JK, he hasn't opened it yet.
There once was a little girl named Sarah with no arms and legs.
*knock knock*
Who's there!
Not Sarah.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?
I don't know, he hasn't opened it yet.