No jokes
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms or legs.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery. Except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Teacher: No?
Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."
I go balls deep in your mum with no power.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why is sex like math? You add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs, and pray there's no multiplying.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter; he's not coming.
Why did Stephanie fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Not Stephanie!
Where do you find a dog with no arms or legs?
Where you left it.
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of 3? Cause the sign says "No Trespassing."
What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas?
We dunno, she ain't opened it yet.