Why do women have cleaner minds than men? Because they change theirs more often.
Worst Jokes Ever
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.
I just ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon.
I'll let you know.
Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. "1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10."
My girlfriend is a porn star. -- She will kill me if she finds out.
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting, but fell asleep.
There was a blackout in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him.
If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive, they would eventually find me attractive.
Two police officers crash their car into a tree. After a moment of silence, one of them says, "Wow, that's got to be the fastest we've ever gotten to an accident site."
Damn girl, are you a smoke detector? Because you're super annoying and won't shut up.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. -- I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Will glass coffins be a success? -- Remains to be seen.
What do sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
What does a turtle and a pedophile have in common? They both want to get there before the hare does.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run.
What's Saudi Arabia's highest rated sitcom? -- How I bought your mother.
