What do cannibals eat to freshen their breath?
Men toes.
What's the difference between a silver medal and a priest?
They both came in a little behind.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
What kind of bees eat brains?
Zombees.
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
The past, present, and future walk into a bar.
It gets really tense.
What do Colorado and Saudi Arabia have in common?
It's legal to get stoned.
What kind of bees make milk?
BooBees.
What do you call a drunken Muslim?
Mohammered.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What did one fish say to the other?
Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He scares the shit out of it.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
Keep the tip.
