Worst Jokes Ever
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
What do you call a Spanish footballer without legs?
Gracias.
If you give a gator a GPS, does that make it a navigator?
What do you call a retard?
"Kahin."
Josh Dalton once ate his shoulder.
Hey babe, I’m looking to get 23 years in 23 seconds, can you help?
How does Jesus whistle? Through the hole in his hand.
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
Why did my wife leave me?
I wish I knew.
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
Hahaha. These eggs surely crack me up!
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What is the difference between a whore and an onion?
You don't cry when you chop a whore.
What do cows like to do?
Cow-culating!
Why did my dad leave me? Because I was a disappointment.
What does a house wear?
A dress.
What did the ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, he just WAVED.
Did you SEA what I did there?
GUY: Yes
Are you SHORE?
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Yo mama so stupid, when she was in court and the judge said, "Order, order," she said, "Pizza."