Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock. Who's there? Knock knock. Knock knock who? I'll knock knock you out if you don't stop.
Weather is like sex. Once in a while you need to get wet.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
Penis.
What happened when the dog played golf?
He hit the ball into the ruff.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
When I masturbate, things cum.
When an old man does, no one cums.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
What's the difference between a zit and a Catholic priest?
A zit will wait 'til 12 before it cums on your face.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.