Arnold Schwarzenegger was asked if he wanted to upgrade to Windows 10. He replied, "I still love Vista, baby."
Worst Jokes Ever
Tell a woman she's beautiful a hundred times, and she won't believe you. Tell a woman she's fat once, and she will remember it for the rest of her life because elephants never forget.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
I hate how funerals are always at 9 a.m. -- I'm not really a mourning person.
What do you call a Communist sniper? -- A Marxman.
What does a girl want more than anything in the world?
Nothing. She's fine.
The three unwritten rules of life:
1. 2. 3.
4, 6, 8, and 9 have all been killed. 2, 3, 5, 7, and 11 are the prime suspects.
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
The furniture store keeps calling me back... But all I wanted was that one nightstand.
I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
If Al Gore started a math rock band, it should be called Algorhythm.
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
I walked into a room full of men masturbating. They all looked shocked when I didn't stop.
If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it... He's gay, definitely gay.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
6:30 is the best time on a clock... hands down.
5 out of 6 scientists say Russian Roulette is safe.
An Irish guy walks out of a bar....
