Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a squirrel that flies? A flying squirrel.
What do you call a man in the ground? A dead guy.
My friend was pissed off with me. I was sniffing his sister's knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward.
How do you get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow," I said.
"Meow, meow, I'm a cow."
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
What was the last thing to go through the heads of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
There once was a street named Chuck Norris. They had to change the name because no one crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What do you call dogs dressed as dinosaurs?
Jurassic Bark!
Donald Trump announced he will run for prez today. His hair will on Friday.
How do you circumcise a hillbilly? ... Kick his sister in the jaw.
There was a recent football match between Ethiopia and Egypt.
Egypt 8, Ethiopia 0.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp!
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.
Do no doctor start with A and A+?
What's the difference between a gay guy and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.
Teacher: Kids, what are some things you have that make you happy? Kid 1: I have my family to make me happy. Kid 2: I have my friends to make me happy. Teacher: What about you, Sean? Sean: I have to take pills to make me happy...