Worst Jokes Ever
What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?
An irrelephant.
What did the shoes say to the pants?
"SUP, BRITCHES!"
What do you call a psychic midget who has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large!
Knock knock. Who's there? Ya. Ya who? Sorry, I prefer Google.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
Knock, knock. Who's there? Daisy. Daisy who? Daisy me rollin', they hatin'!
Why did Sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally!
Why was three afraid of two? Because he killed everyone!
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
What do you call someone who points out the obvious? Someone who points out the obvious.
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
Your momma's so fat that she should probably be worried about the increased risk of cardiovascular disease.
The experienced carpenter really nailed it, but the new guy screwed everything up.
I still remember the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket. He said, “Hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?”
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
What has fingernails and legs made of grass? You, I lied about the grass.
What is the difference between a banana and a helicopter? Neither of them is a police officer.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead!