Worst Jokes Ever
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
Ur mum gay, lul.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Before the chicken or the egg, there was only Chuck Norris.
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Yo mama so fat,
She doesn't fit in a Titan's mouth.
(Attack on Titan; Shingeki no Kyojin)
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?
Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks...
My cow just wandered into a field of marijuana. The steaks have never been so high...