Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a pool and a toddler?
One doesn't scream when you go in dry ;)
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Hey, I'm not forcing you to learn the Force.
Why are Muslims terrible at football?
Because every time they have a corner, they build a shop.
Stephen Hawking went on a date and came back with a broken leg. I can't believe she stood him up.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Joke.
Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.
What do you call vampire Matt Damon?
Bat Damon!
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
How to know if your wife is dead? Well, the sex is still trash, but the dishes really start to pile up.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
If I had a dollar for every gender, I would only have one dollar because women are objects and men are superior.
In Africa, in every 60 seconds, a minute passes.
I like my women like I like my wine, twelve years old, in the basement, and locked up.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
What's the difference between cake and pie?
πr2, cakes are round.