Worst Jokes Ever
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
You're a bish, and you are too!
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
My mental health.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
No, you!
Yo mama's so ugly, and her voice is so loud that The X Factor doesn't want or need her to show up to the performances when she sings.
What do monkeys and gorillas love to listen to?
The Monkees and Gorillaz.
If Bruno Mars was to run a pub and sell chocolate bars other than alcoholic drinks, then he'd have to call his pub a Mars Bar!
Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.
What do you call a guy with a bald head who loves to eat biscuits, raisins, and caster sugar?
Gary Baldy (Garibaldi)!
Yo mama's so fat, her blood type is Coca-Cola!
Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
My acquaintance, William.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
How did the blind Catholic get in a car crash? He asked Jesus to take the wheel.
What did the tie say to the hat?
You go on ahead, I'll just hang around.