I love everyone.
I had a good day.
I love animals!
What is a kid who loves school?
A smart kid.
What is the difference between a tree and a school?
A school is for kids, and a tree is for birds.
What does a Chinese machine gun sound like? "ching chong ching chong tang tang."
Why did the monkey take his banana to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling good.
What is a monkey’s 🐒 favorite dance move?
The banana 🍌 split.
I can hear the whole world booing me.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
org.springframework.beans.factory.BeanCreationException: Error creating a bean with name X.
What did the kangaroo say to the elephant? Hi up there!
What’s the difference between a mediocre thief and professional thief?
The mediocre thief will say “give me all your money!”
And a professional thief will say “sign here please.”
What did the tree say to his sister? Wood you please leaf me alone, you son of a birch?
I have a brother and he told me this quote, "No wonder they had a second child, they messed up on the first one." He’s the second child... I’m the first...
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
A poster for the winter relief fund reads: "No one should be allowed to go hungry or suffer from the cold." A worker says to his friend, "Now were not even allowed to do that."
Hi 👋 I love 💕 you know I do. What a good night of a good [something].
What is a nut that does magic?
A human that can turn into a nut!
What do painters and prostitutes have in common?
They're both paid for a good finish.
