I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters but it just wouldn't land with people...
I heard Kobe was writing a book about helicopters, but it just wouldn't land with people...
I know, I'm going to hell!
Do you want to play Titanic?
When I say iceberg, you go down on me.
Sometimes I have this incredible urge to grab a child from school and yell, "I'm you from the future!"
What kind of star would go to jail?
A shooting star!
I wonder if the 2 Irish kids off the Titanic movie who went to sleep before it sank had wet dreams?
im dead inside
Adding a "gl" in front of "camping" doesn't make it any better.
If you add a "gl" in front of "Adolf Hitler," it doesn't make him a great guy.
what type of tea do you drink with the queen of england?
royal-tea
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
What did the little girl with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, she's still trying to open it...
So I went to the doctor's and the doctor said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign."
So I said, "Aquarius."
And the doctor said, "Nah mate, you've got cancer."
Really Karen?
Sheila, the Aussie housewife, got out of the shower and slipped on the bathroom floor. Instead of falling over forwards or backwards, she did the splits and suctioned cupped herself to the floor.
She yelled out for her husband, "Bruce! Bruce!" and he came running in. "Bruce, I’ve bloody suctioned myself to the floor!" she said.
"S’truth, Sheila!" Bruce said, and tried to pull her up. "You’re stuck fast girl. I’ll go across the road and get me mate Cobber."
They came back and they both tried to pull her up from the floor. "No way, we can’t do it!" Cobber said, "So let’s try Plan B."
"Plan B?" exclaimed Bruce, "What’s that?"
"I’ll go home and get me hammer and chisel and we’ll break the tiles under her," replied Cobber.
"Spot on!" Bruce said, "While you’re doing that, I’ll stay here and play with her nipples."
"Play with her nipples?" Cobber said, "Not exactly a good time for that mate!"
"No... " Bruce replied, "But I reckon if I can get her wet enough, we can slide her into the kitchen where the tiles are a lot cheaper."
If you gay then wtf u doin tryna walk straight
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
That is a "Penny-Farthing" bicycle, Dimes if you feed it beans.
I help suicidal people
BTW verb not adjective
10 dicks up your mom's ass!
Best way to stop a fight between deaf people?
Just turn off the lights.
