Mum jokes
I love punching orphans. What are they gonna do? Tell their mum?
My mother caught me jerking off and she told me to leave it out. I didn't know what she was doing but she grabbed my cock and started sucking. Then I found out on porn she was doing deep throat.
A couple of weeks later my dad caught me jerking off, I thought he would deep throat, but he just walked up to me and slapped my boner. I cried for 5 hours. Luckily my mum gave me a sloppy joe afterwards.
Your mum is so fat that when she looks in the mirror, the mirror cracked!
Your mum is so fat she sat on Walmart and lowered the prices.
Your mother.
Your mum's foreheads.
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
Guess what.
What?
Your mum saw your 1 inch.
Your mum's so dumb, she thought Pornhub was a corn hub!
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
What does the M and D in "orphan" stand for?
"Mum" and "Dad."
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Pornhub is down, your mum's Facebook will do.
Kid at Wish: I wish I could be Batman.
Doctor: Okay, shoots mum and dad. Doctor: I guess now you’ll have to be gay, you wanted to be like Batman.
Your mum is stupid, just like you.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
"Mum, I just won this phone in a race!"
"Who was in the race?"
"The owner of the phone. And the police. I think they're at the door to congratulate me!"
I am in trouble. My mum asked me to get six cans of Sprite.
But I got seven Up.
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!