Money Laundering jokes

An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.