Money Laundering jokes

Give a man a gun, and he will rob a bank.

Give a man a bank, and he will rob everyone.

If you push someone that's bullying, if you kill someone that's murder, if there is no evidence it's nothing.

A thief walks up to a man in a suit and pulls out a gun. The thief says: "Give me your money." The man in the suit turns around surprised. He raises his hands and says: "But, wait! You can't do that, I am a Congressman!" The thief replies: "Oh, sorry. Give me MY money."

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant.

Dirty bastards.

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.