Mistrust jokes

What's the definition of trust?

Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.

Two wrongs don't make a right. Take your parents as an example.

Mum: If your friend jumped off a cliff, would you?

Me: Oh yeah, no doubt my friend wouldn't even have to jump first.

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

The ones you hate most are also the ones who are by your side most.