Mishap

Mishap jokes

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.

What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?

They're both accidents.

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  • "Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."

    "Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."

    "Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."

    "Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."

    "Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."

    "Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."

    "Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."

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  • Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead. It also had rings.

    Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit.

    Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy.

    Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.