Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!
Today sucked my freind fell of a cliff and I went to jail
When you realize the shuttle blew up. Then you realize your on the shuttle.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can't unscrew a pregnant woman.
What's a similarity between a broken lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
They're both accidents.
My son said he burnt food on accident so I told him he was an accident
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
Why is Ronan's forehead the size of Jupiter? Because he dropped the TV on his forehead it also had rings
Why is Jupiter's ring stuck in orbit? Because Ronan's forehead kept it stuck in orbit
Snails are like sperm, slow and sloppy
Stephen Hawking's death was simply an accident. He pressed power off instead of sleep mode.
