Mexican jokes

I went for a swim in the river that crosses Mexico, and I saw a Mexican, aka a wetback, swimming across. I asked, and he said, "I'm a wetback."

Why are Mexicans good at Uno?

They always steal the green card.

What kind of truck does a Mexican drive?

F-Juan Fifty.

Why can't Mexicans cross the border? They always sneak powder in.

I find it bemusing that hardcore right-wingers are superfans of Johnny Depp, considering that he looks like a dangerous Mexican drug lord.

What do you call a ball with no hair? A Mexican ball.

Yesterday on the school bus my friend in front of me said she was 41% Irish and 15% Mexican.

Then my friend sitting next to me said, “Wow, almost half leprechaun!”

Then I said, “Yeah, and 15 percent wall climber!”

How many white women does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. To hire the Mexicans.

What’s a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross-country.

I was gonna make a joke about Mexicans but honestly, it crosses the line.

So here’s this funny story, and it’s true.

So my mom has this friend. When this guy was a kid, he was on the school bus, and this Mexican kid checked him into the aisle, so he hits him across the face with a metal lunchbox, and he started bleeding. Then they both get banned from the bus for a few days, so him and his dad drive to the Mexican kids house, and his dad says to the Mexican kids dad “if your kid ever picks on my kid again, I’m gonna come back to this house and kick your ass!”

What do Mexicans call a wall? A ladder.

A German, an Australian, and a Mexican are on a plane. They say that they can tell where they are by sticking their hands out of the pane.

The German sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Germany." The others ask, "How do you know?" The German says, "Because it's so cold."

Then the Australian sticks his hand out and says, "We are in Australia." The others ask, "How do you know?" He replies, "Because it's so warm."

Then the Mexican sticks his hand out and back in. He says, "We are in Mexico." The others ask, "How do you know?" He says, "Because my watch is gone."

What do you call a Mexican door?

Dora.

Have you ever heard of horchata? Horchata, fuck up!

What does a pizza and a Mexican have in common?

One can feed a family.

There was a house with a three-story building.

The first one had Mexicans.

The second one had Africans.

The third one had white people.

An earthquake came.

But who did survive?

The white family because they were at work.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?

One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)

Why don't Mexicans like winter? They're afraid of ice.

Don't be racist! BE LIKE MARIO!

He's an Italian plumber, created by the Japanese, who speaks English, and looks like a Mexican, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew.