Metric jokes

How do Americans learn the metric system?

9mm at a time. The problem is sometimes it goes straight through their heads.

I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

Like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school.

I saw a fat dude wearing a shirt that said "guess." I said 215kg, he didn't find it as funny.

New study reveals that women slightly overweight live longer... than the men who mention it.