Worst Jokes Ever

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Adolf kitler

A white and grey cat sitting upright with its head tilted back. The text on the image says, "The majestic land seal capable of sleeping up to 22 hours a day."

Heroin Monkey

A still from Sesame Street shows Ernie and Bert standing next to a snowman. In the bottom of the image, overlaid on a black background, are the words: "You can still hear her heart beat!" Ernie said. It wasn't until spring that the hooker's dead body would show up on the playground.

Hailey ❁

My work here is done.

The image says "Be kind to yourself because..." followed by six reasons to be kind to yourself: 1. No one will ever be kind to you as much as you will be to yourself. 2. You deserve to receive all the kindness back in the world that you give out. 3. Being kind to yourself will add up to your self love and value and you will end up feeling much better than you did before. 4. It is a form of respecting and accepting yourself for who you are which can also encourage you to become more than you are. 5. It will expand your inner beauty which will shine on the outside. 6. Kindness makes your world and the world around you better.

Rylee ੈ♡˳

on school days too..

A person with messy hair looking tired. The text on the image says: "When you go for a 20 minute nap and wake up 7 hours later."

Chungus

Are you a tater or a hater

A man is talking and the text says, "Then grip her up by the her neck. Tate's opinion on how to handle a girl."

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

shut the fuck up you pussy ass fucking bitch motherfucking parent depleater

The image shows three dogs, each labeled with a word. On the left is "my car", in the middle is "me" and on the right is "work". "Me" is in the middle pulling a toy labeled "money" away from "my car" and towards "work". The text above the dogs says "How life is going right now".

𝕱𝖗𝖚𝖎𝖙 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖒𝖊𝖓𝖙𝖘

VAPING IS ALSO BAD

The image is an infographic about the dangers of smoking. It lists many of the negative health effects of smoking. It states that within 10 seconds of a puff, toxic chemicals reach organs. Smoking harms most of the body, increases disease risk, and affects look, feel, finances and people close to you. Nicotine in tobacco is highly addictive and it releases dopamine. Nicotine dependence happens when the brain craves dopamine. Smoking is a major cause of cardiovascular disease, heart attack, and stroke. It increases the risk of blood clots. Some smokers have limbs amputated due to blood circulation problems. A graph lists the annual deaths caused by cigarette smoking in the United States between 2005-2009. It shows over 479,989 deaths. The causes include: lung cancer, ischemic heart disease, chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, other diagnoses, stroke, and other cancers. The stages of lung cancer are shown.

Cosmo the Intern

A wooden box propped up by a stick, with a pile of tacos underneath. A news article about Donald Trump's supposed plan to round up immigrants is overlaid on top of the image.

Anonymous

this is funny

Wade

Pulling up to the movie theater

The image shows a group of four animatronic characters from the video game Five Nights at Freddy's (FNAF). The text above them reads 'ME AND THE BOYS' and below them 'WATCHING FNAF'. The characters have red eyes and smoke is around their faces. One of them, Freddy Fazbear, is holding a cigarette.

MEME LORD

When bro calls me so i put
my phone in vibration mode
and shove it up my ass

period boo

A picture of Kermit the Frog lying on his stomach while using a smartphone. The text reads, "I hate it when people text me: 'Call me'. I'm gonna start calling people and when they answer, I'm gonna say, 'text me', and hang up."

ur momy

alex

The image is a three panel collage of a young woman with long dark hair. The first panel is a close-up of her face looking sad with a single tear. The second panel shows her looking upward with a finger pulling her eyelid down. The third panel shows her smiling directly at the camera. The text above the image reads: "When he cute, loyal, texts back in 2 seconds, likes the same music as u, and puts up with ur mood swings and attitude."

ur mommy

taking to your friends

A picture of a blonde woman smiling with her chin resting on her hand. Text on top reads "Tries to tell jokes" and text at the bottom says "Messes them up horrible every time".

✨Jassy✨

My brother when i slap him on the arm. But at the same time they are not about to grow up soft.

A man with a surprised expression has his finger in front of his lips, as if telling someone to be quiet. The text says "WHEN YOU SLAP YOUR LITTLE BROTHER AND HE STARTS TO CRY."

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text conversation. The first person asks about a Miata for sale. After some questions, the first person asks "What's your lowest point?" and the second person responds with a tragic personal anecdote about his wife leaving him, misunderstanding that the first person was asking for the "lowest price."

Heroin Monkey

A foot holding a blunt, with text above saying "Gonna get fucked up tn."

Anonymous

Me after picking up anything remotely heavy

A white cartoon rabbit is holding a pink dumbbell with an effortful expression. The weight says 4 LB.

Anonymous

Me showing up to school thinking I had a glow up

A white rabbit is wearing purple sunglasses and a sparkling crown. The rabbit is standing indoors on a carpet with a blurred background.

Heroin Monkey

A still from an animated movie. A man is shown with a suspicious look on his face, while a woman is standing behind him reading a book. Text at the bottom reads, "Those chickens are up to something. 10 Conspiracy Theories That Turned Out To Be True."

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