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Confession

Shitpost master-general · 4 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread. The original post states, "if i had a dick i'd stack donuts on it". The reply begins by participating in the crude joke, saying, "Yeah I probably get 2 or 3 donuts ahaha," before abruptly transitioning into a detailed murder confession, providing the location (Sam Houston National Park 30.535993, -95.645309), depth (7.3 feet), and the victim's name and age (Josef Kalic, 34 years old), and the date of the crime (2006).

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Pigeon

Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A split image shows the cartoon character 'The Pigeon' from Mo Willems' children's books on the left, encircled in red. On the right is a serious-looking Donald Trump, wearing a suit and red tie. Below them is a news banner with the text: 'NEWS. TRUMP UNDER FIRE FOR ALLEGEDLY LETTING THE PIGEON DRIVE THE BUS.'

Science

Shitpost master-general · 7 months ago

A black and white meme featuring a Wojak character (also known as Feels Guy) with a wormhole-like grid representing spacetime extending from his head. Above him, orange text reads, 'TIME IS AFFECTED BY GRAVITY'. Below him, magenta text reads, 'DISAGREE? SCIENCE IS UNDER NO OBLIGATION TO MAKE SENSE TO YOU'. The signature 'Absolutna Cwelina' is in the bottom right.

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Avoidance

Blake · 7 months ago

crappy day under water

The meme features SpongeBob SquarePants sitting in an orange armchair with a smug expression on his face. He is holding a remote control. The top text reads "WHEN YOU GET A TEXT FROM PATRICK" and the bottom text reads "IGHT IMMA HEAD OUT".

Short People

Willy b · 7 months ago

The top half of the image features a 'TOP DEFINITION' headline stating 'National throw short people day' with the description below: 'On October 21, you can throw anyone under 5'4" with no permission needed'. The bottom half shows a close-up of Gimli, the dwarf character from Lord of the Rings, looking surprised and wide-eyed with his mouth slightly agape, possibly in shock or alarm. A 'CocoFun' watermark is in the bottom right corner.

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Cash

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A screenshot of a tweet from 'Daily Noud' stating, 'Tyler, The Creator just found out the tooth fairy is not real. He was reportedly upset after waking up to no cash under his pillow.' Below the text are two images side-by-side. On the left, a photo of a man, Tyler, The Creator, wearing a baseball cap and a pinstriped shirt, looks with a confused or displeased expression. On the right, a cartoon illustration of a tooth fairy with blonde hair, a tiara, blue dress, and wings, holding a magic wand and a tooth, floating on a cloud under a crescent moon.

Etiquette

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A screenshot from a social media platform shows a man with light hair and a serious expression, looking over a white building with many windows, presumably in London. Below the video, a comments section is visible. It shows the location 'London' with '67.1K people added to Favorites' and '6,140 comments'. A user named Kollado asks, 'what's the etiquette of rubbing one out under the table?' The creator, William Hanson, responds, 'You ask this on almost every video. May I suggest you seek professional help??'

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Vibe

Heroin Monkey · 11 months ago

A young man with a beard, wearing a hoodie, smiles slightly while looking at the camera. He appears relaxed, leaning against a surface. Text overlays the bottom part of the image: The vibe when I'm listening to Acidic Vaginal Liquid Explosion Generated By Mass Amounts Of Filthy Fecal Fisting And Sadistic Septic Syphilic Sodomy Inside The Infected Maggot Infested Womb Of A Molested Nun Dying Under The Roof Of A Burning Church W

Arrest

Anonymous · 1 year ago

A three-panel comic shows a police officer telling a man he is under arrest, with the man happily saying "Hooray!"

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Bro

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

A man looking to the side with a slightly annoyed expression, overlaid with text that reads: "When you find bro in a random comment section leaving a comment like 'step on me, mommy' under a goth girl's post. (I wanted to write the same thing)"

Freedom

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A text document screenshot with a paragraph about knowing fundamental rights and making informed voting decisions. Highlighted in yellow is "Even with the margin of error being 9 percent average, which is still significant." A suggestion box from Grammarly is on the right saying "One obvious solution to this problem is Iwyluwxzdlvq more civics courses in schools and wxtloj it a graduation requirement for high school students."

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Mom

Anonymous · 1 year ago

Last light be like:

The image is a cartoon with three different objects labeled with the words "me" and "your mom" to indicate spatial relation. A carrot labeled "me" is sitting on a chair labeled "your mom". An apple labeled "me" is sitting in a box labeled "your mom". A pumpkin labeled "me" is sitting under a bench labeled "your mom". The words "on", "in" and "under" are written under the objects.

Arrest

Adolf kitler · 1 year ago

A cat with a serious expression is wrapped in a dark fabric, with only its head showing, and the text "BOOB POLICE" above it, and "UR UNDER ARREST" below it.

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Michael Jackson

Lil’ bro · 1 year ago

Hee hee

The image is a collage of different pictures of Michael Jackson edited with different styles and labels, including one with Steve Harvey's bald head, another as Mr. Clean, a third as a rabbit, one as a toilet paper, and many others with the text 'Hee-Hee' in different styles.

Revenge

Anonymous · 1 year ago

what the

A meme consisting of two panels. The top panel shows a news report headline, stating, "Man Murdered 8 gang members under an hour after being told his sister was raped." The background of this panel displays a crime scene with police cars and yellow caution tape. The bottom panel shows a character, possibly from a science fiction movie, wearing white robes and a metallic face mask, striking a pose with one hand raised. Text below the image says, "How bro must've felt: Bro is Mr. Aura himself."

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Pizza

Nintendo Fan · 1 year ago

The image shows a father and son sitting at a table in a restaurant. The father is looking at his son with a smile, and the son is looking back at his father with a slight smile. There is also a plate of food and a glass on the table. Above the image it says, "Waiter: Kids under 12 eat for free" and "Dad: My son wants 4 large Pizzas and one water for me".

Podcast

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A tweet with text "Worst Headline you'll read today and there's like 10 wars happening" above a tweet by @Dexerto saying "The Hawk Tuah Girl is launching her own podcast under Jake Paul's media company". Below are two side-by-side images of Jake Paul looking surprised and the Hawk Tuah Girl smiling.

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Woman

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A four-panel cartoon shows a father talking to his son in the first panel, saying "...and under no circumstance should you ever hit a woman." The second panel shows the son, now an adult, sitting on a bed with a woman in front of him on all fours and saying "Spank me, Kenny." The third panel shows Kenny saying "No." The fourth panel shows the father behind Kenny saying "I'm proud of you, son."

Sphere

Willy b · 2 years ago

A cross-section diagram of the Y-1561 implosion sphere showing component placement with the text "You happy???"

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Toad

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Two-panel image with the text "WHAT IF WE KISSED" above a photo of a small toy toad hanging from a red ribbon, and "UNDER THE MISSILE TOAD" below a close up photo of the toy toad with a toy missile strapped to its back, hanging from a red ribbon.

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