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Shitpost master-general

Zionism and jihad are brothers

A four-panel image featuring US Presidents Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush, each touching the Western Wall in Jerusalem. On their heads, they are photoshopped wearing red conical Asian hats. Above the panels, the text reads: "I hate how China controls all of our politicians. They make them go touch the Great Wall of China and swear allegiance to the CCP."

An illustration from a children's book shows Thomas the Tank Engine with a wide-eyed, shocked, and somewhat distressed expression. Behind him, another train with a smug, smiling face is positioned closely. The text above reads: "No train had ever touched Thomas like this before. His wheels felt weak."

An image featuring a wizard-like figure with a long white beard and a hood, standing with arms outstretched, emanating light. Below him, a dragon is positioned amidst flames and lava. Overlaying this imagery are bullet points of text: 'This pisses me off for real. Manual breathing. Manual swallowing. Manual blinking. Your toes are touching. You're itchy. The Game.'

MAHMOOD • iNKSTECHSHUB JOKES

When I accidentally touched my sense of humour

A hand with black-painted fingers is shown with the text: "when I accidentally touch...my sense of humour."

A meme featuring a man smiling with text above him that says, "when bro ran out of 🥜 so you whip out your dihh and touch tips with him and 🥜 in his dihh so he gets a refill."

wtf is my fyp

The image shows a screencap of an anime character with a surprised and flustered expression. Above the anime character is text that says, "when I'm touching myself to his voice in vc and he randomly calls me beautiful and I."

A black dragon with yellow eyes and white teeth looks directly at the viewer, while a hand is reaching for him. The text says "NO! NO TOUCHY! At least, not until you wash those hands of yours."

Why should you care

Truly are

A set of translucent red and white dice with the title "The Cursed dice" above. The text describes the strange properties of cursed dice, including their unnatural glow, and their ability to roll specific numbers on command.

The image is a multi-panel format showing a scene from The Lord of the Rings in which a man with a helmet yells, "You will not touch him!" followed by a second panel of a dark figure who replies, "Fool." The third panel shows the same dark figure with swords saying, "I have been trained in your Jedi arts by Count Dooku." The final panel shows the man with the helmet looking confused.

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

When one of yall likes physical touch, but the other is scared of it

Two meerkats are hugging each other. The text says "When one of yall likes physical touch, but the other is scared of it."

Spongebob is looking sad, seemingly about to fall over, with his arms stretched out. The comment says, "noo his spoochie touching the floor 😭".

A brown, knitted doll figure, Sackboy, stands with arms out. Text says, "You're getting touched tonight!" Hot air balloons float in the background.

♢ Shy Dragon ♢

This definitely works

The image is a drawing with four separate life tips on how to make your friends like you more. First, a person is smiling and has a feather tucked in their collar bone, it says 'do a smile to make yourself look like you are not completely dead inside' and 'hold a feather to let your friend know you are not harmful anymore and it is all in the past.' Second, the same person is wearing a lace glove, it says 'wear a single lace glove to show that you have a delicate touch.' Third, it says 'why not wear an outfit that really shows off your figure'. Fourth, a blonde person is holding a leash attached to a dog. It says 'borrow a dog or a child of your choice so people will want to talk to you more'.

A hand holds a clear, translucent polymer ball over a body of water, demonstrating its near-invisibility when submerged. Below the image, a text conversation on Tumblr describes a prank idea: first, putting invisible polymer balls in a bath to scare someone, and second, escalating the idea significantly to hiding large, shaped figures in every swimming pool in America.

A possum is sitting in a trash can with various items around it. The text on the image says, "When your phone suggests deleting old memes to save space. Don't touch my garbage."

A painting of Jesus with his arms outstretched. In the middle of the picture there are two drawings of characters, one of Satan as Soyjak and one of Jesus as Chad. The text reads, "As you can see, Satan, I portrayed you as Soyjak and me as Chad. You and your legions have been defeated once again. L+cope+seethe+touch light."

The image shows a two-part meme. The top part reads, "Girls in Science class: Ewww I'm not touching a frog." The bottom part shows Kermit the Frog attached to a cross-like structure with the caption: "Our masterpiece is finished."

A cartoon character, Ralph, looks up with a confused expression. The text on the image says, 'When you unplug all the noisy beeping machines in the hospital and everyone starts sleeping better. Why do I fix everything I touch?'

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