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Memes

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Celebrity

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."

Harry Potter

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comparison of four headshots, two from the Harry Potter movies of Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley as young boys and two of the musicians Eminem and Ed Sheeran. The text on top says: "Remember Draco and Ron from Harry Potter? This is them now..."

Titanic

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A tweet by Sarah Cooper says: Titanic (1997). Scientist: Where's the diamond? Old lady: *three hour long story about how she lost her virginity*

Lotion

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A can of a lime green drink with a silver top is shown from a top-down angle. There is red liquid around the opening of the can. The text on the image says: "Ran out of lotion". There is a skull emoji in the lower left, and an instagram handle in the bottom right corner.

Data

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Goal

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A man in a light-colored shirt is banging on a large drum in a stadium. The text on the image says "BANG BANG CAM ON INGERLAND BANG BANG SCOR SOM FACKIN GOALS BANG BANG".

Memes

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

Are you out of mind!
Why do you carry those bricks!
Now is bedtime!
I'm tryna get like you
mama I mean you got
them airbag titties
like hubba hubba
honk honk type shitt
wanna know what it
feels like to carry
around all that
weight you been
carrying around all
your life I mean at
least since you was 14
not that I would've
been into it at that
age I'm just sayin like
you got them
bazooka bubble
breast and I'm tryna
chew on that
experience got me
bricked up fr fr

Bag

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A man with a mustache and a hat is leaning over a trash can in a kitchen, looking into the can. The text above says: “Reading cooking instructions off the bag I just threw out.” The website boredpanda.com is displayed in the lower right.

Birthday

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A close-up of a monkey's face with big eyes and a slight smile. Text overlay says, "WHEN PEOPLE SING HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU AND YOU JUST SIT THERE LIKE..."

RapBoat

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

rapboat whenever he talks

The image shows two characters from the cartoon series Family Guy. On the left, a very overweight Peter Griffin is being lifted by the forklift arms of a yellow forklift, and he is facing to the left of the image. On the right, Brian Griffin is driving the yellow forklift, and he is looking to the left. The background is a light blue and the setting appears to be outdoors. Above the two characters is an empty speech bubble.

Ohio

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows three Toads from the Mario universe with different color schemes and a skull symbol on their heads. The text below describes them as the "Ohio Skibidi Gyat Toad" who can "rizz" Mario.

Woman

Anonymous · 2 years ago

“I’m a woman trapped in a man’s body” = you’re a weak man who was blindly brainwashed into being a woke joke.

A cartoon image of SpongeBob SquarePants looking frustrated and lying on the sand. The text on the image reads: "When a male athlete can't win any competitions."

Kitten

MEME LORD · 2 years ago

A selfie of a man sitting on an airplane with a text overlay that says, "Oh you've been such a bad kitten, meow for daddy."

Cheesecake

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A close-up shot of a partially eaten cheesecake on a black plate with a knife resting next to it.

Announcement

Anonymous · 2 years ago

The image shows an email inbox with several emails visible. One email, from "William" at "Counseling Commons," contains offensive language such as "Hello Fucktard," "You smell like cat shit," and "Kill yourself." Another email is from Dr. [redacted]. Text overlaid on the image reads "who hurt the principle dawg" along with crying emojis and TikTok usernames.

Cat

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A photo shows the face of a tabby cat. Above the cat are text messages that say, "I never cheated on you" and "I love you babe." Below the cat is a text message that says, "I didn't mean to send that."

President

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme shows a comparison between an "IDF FOG MACHINE" and "IRANIAN PRESIDENT." On the left is an image of a fog machine in operation, producing a cloud of smoke and on the right is a picture of Iranian President Ebrahim Raisi.

Chip

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme featuring a menacing skeleton with glowing eyes next to a bag of Lay's Salt & Vinegar chips. The text reads, "The government is trying to put chips in people??? I hope I get Lay's Salt & Vinegar."

Weight

Anonymous · 2 years ago

Me after picking up anything remotely heavy

A white cartoon rabbit is holding a pink dumbbell with an effortful expression. The weight says 4 LB.

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