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If an orphan tells you there's 365 days in a year, tell them for you it's only 363 days because you skip Father's Day and Mother's Day.

What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.

Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.

What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.

What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.

We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.