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Shitpost master-general
3 days ago

Explain Bear won’t understand because he’s retarded.

A political cartoon by Glenn McCoy showing a street scene in Baltimore. The "BALTIMORE TVs & ELECTRONICS" and "LIQUOR & CIGARS" stores are on fire with broken windows, and looters are running away with an HDTV and beer. The "BELTS & SUSPENDERS" store remains completely untouched and open for business, suggesting the looters have no interest in belts.
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  • Shitpost master-general
    4 days ago

    Zionism and jihad are brothers

    A four-panel image featuring US Presidents Barack Obama, Donald Trump, Bill Clinton, and George W. Bush, each touching the Western Wall in Jerusalem. On their heads, they are photoshopped wearing red conical Asian hats. Above the panels, the text reads: "I hate how China controls all of our politicians. They make them go touch the Great Wall of China and swear allegiance to the CCP."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    11 days ago
    A screenshot of a Reddit post. The post title reads: 'I recreated my son's final moments in Minecraft to help me cope with his loss'. The post includes an image of a Minecraft scene showing a small, blocky room with stone walls, a window, and on the wooden floor, red pixelated blocks resembling blood, next to a bed. The text below the image says 'thoughts and prayers are appreciated'. At the bottom, a grey box indicates the post was removed by the subreddit moderators with the message: 'Sorry, this post has been removed by the moderators of r/Minecraft.'
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  • Willy b
    26 days ago
    An animated drawing shows several small, stylized, red armored figures resembling Warhammer 40k Space Marines struggling to carry a small, rectangular building labeled 'YOUR MEME' on their shoulders. A larger, armored figure with a cape and sword walks next to them. The image contains text overlays mentioning a TikTok handle and the origin of the image.
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  • NikTheBest
    29 days ago
    A man resembling Santa Claus, with a white beard and hair, is sitting on a subway or train seat. He is wearing a red tracksuit with white stripes and an emblem resembling the Soviet hammer and sickle on the shoulder. He is holding a red shopping bag. White capital text overlays the image, reading: "SOVIET SANTA COMES TO YOUR HOUSE AND TAKES YOUR GIFTS."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    1 month ago
    A split image shows the cartoon character 'The Pigeon' from Mo Willems' children's books on the left, encircled in red. On the right is a serious-looking Donald Trump, wearing a suit and red tie. Below them is a news banner with the text: 'NEWS. TRUMP UNDER FIRE FOR ALLEGEDLY LETTING THE PIGEON DRIVE THE BUS.'
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  • Willy b
    2 months ago
    A young person with dark hair and an expressionless face wears a white t-shirt. The t-shirt has a parody of the Nike logo. Instead of "Nike," it reads "NUKE" with a stylized swoosh, and below it, "IRAQ." At the bottom, it says "JUST DO IT!" The top of the image has text that reads: "Knockoff Chinese clothing is so funny especially since they have no idea what it's saying." A monkey emoji covering its eyes is in the top right, and two large cartoon eyes are on the right side.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    2 months ago
    A black and white image features Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson in a dark, textured suit, looking directly forward with a serious expression. Overlayed text in yellow reads "HOW TO BECOME A TOP 1% MAN", followed by a bulleted list of absurd advice in white, pink, and green. The list includes: "ONLY P*RN", "10L WATER", "WORKOUT (NO BREAKS) - 3X ARM DAY - 2X LEG DAY - 4X BUTTHOLE DAY", "READ BOOKS", "READ BOOKS AGAIN", "ASSEMBLE UNCLES", "300X DAIRY INTAKE", "12 HOURS GRINDING", "ABSORB DETROIT". A small username "@entopranure" is visible at the top.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    An X profile screenshot. The profile picture is a photo of Jeffrey Epstein with a dog ear filter. The banner image features anime characters in an embrace. The display name is 'Adolf (He/Tler),' and the username includes offensive terms like 'RacistShOtaLOlHitlerGrapist69.' The bio combines contradictory terms such as 'Super Straight,' 'Socialist,' 'Vegan,' and 'Pet Lover,' alongside hashtags associated with Nazism and white supremacy (#EinVolkEinReichEinFuhrerDE, #WLM, #AJAB). The text ends with 'spread kindness 🥺🥺 SUB TO MY ONLYFANS.'
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    An ancient Chinese terracotta warrior statue is shown against a black background. To the left, white text reads: "Anyone can piss on the floor, it takes a real man to shit on the ceiling." Below this, smaller text attributes the quote to "- Sun Tzu, The Art of War".
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    A still from a Marvel movie shows Tony Stark, portrayed by Robert Downey Jr., with a perplexed expression while looking at a holographic display of a spinning Earth. Above the image, white text on a black background reads: "The Onion trying to write a more ridiculous article title after getting one upped by reality every week."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    3 months ago
    The image displays a product package designed to resemble American patriotic imagery. The background is an American flag with red and white stripes and a blue field with white stars. A bald eagle with outstretched wings is depicted above a red baseball cap. The cap has "MAKE AMERICA HARD AGAIN" written on it in white text, parodying a well-known political slogan. Above the eagle, the product name "M.A.H.A. 3000" is displayed. Below the cap, a single red and white capsule, resembling a pill, is visible in blister packaging. The text "GET YUGE!" is printed at the bottom left.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    5 months ago
    A black pickup truck is seen from behind on a road. The truck is heavily adorned with numerous crude and politically charged bumper stickers covering its rear window and tailgate. On the top left of the rear window, a sticker reads "MAKE AMERICA CUM AGAIN". To its right, another sticker says "FUCK DA NRA" with the NRA logo crossed out. Below these, a large sticker proclaims "GET ON THE CUM TRAIN". On the tailgate, a sticker on the left reads "ONLY MY WIFE CAN FART ON MY BALLS!". In the center of the tailgate, below an American flag decal, a smaller sticker states "I WILL NOT CUM". Further down, a white sticker with "TOYOTA" and "STOP THE CUM!" and "JUST SAY NO TO CRANKIN OFF" is visible. On the right side of the tailgate, a sticker says "L'TS GO BRANDON", a euphemism for "Fuck Joe Biden". Below this, another sticker reads "REAL PATRIOTS MAKE THE BEST BOTTOMS!". Further down, "WHITE CUMS MATTER!" is displayed, a crude parody of "Black Lives Matter". To its right, "SHIT BLUE" is visible, likely referring to Democrats. Below "WHITE CUMS MATTER!", a sticker demands "IMPREGNATE BIDEN!". Other small stickers include "STOP THE WIPE!" and "TRUMP TRAIN". The truck's license plate reads "NVR CUM". The truck has "4x4" on its mudflaps and a large exhaust pipe.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    5 months ago
    A split image with two sections. The left section, labeled 'BROGLE', shows a cartoon broccoli character from a hot tub, wearing a gold chain and sunglasses, looking relaxed. The right section, labeled 'ALPHA', shows a man with dark hair and a beard, wearing a black leather jacket, with a large red 'X' superimposed over him. He has a surprised or frustrated expression, with his mouth open and hands held up. Below the images, there is text resembling a YouTube video title: '15 Signs You're a 'Brogle' Male (SUPER RARE) & Is It Better Than 'ALPHA'?' and '134K views', followed by YouTube-like buttons for likes, dislikes, share, save, and report.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    5 months ago
    A screenshot of the Fortnite in-game shop displaying three items for purchase. The main heading is 'Jerkmate Ranked'. The first item is a 'Jerkmate Ranked' bundle, marked as 1,200 V-bucks off, and originally priced at 2,400-3,600 V-bucks. It features a half-red, half-blue robot character (Jerkbot) and associated items. The 'Jerkbot' character is also available separately for 1,600 V-bucks. The second item is 'Lube Looter', a pickaxe shaped like two white lotion bottles, priced at 800 V-bucks. The third item is 'Leaked CIA Files', depicted as a brown folder, priced at 1,200 V-bucks. Overlaid text at the bottom reads: 'Fortnite really just be collaborating with anyone.'
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  • Heroin Monkey
    5 months ago
    A world map where continents and regions are labeled with humorous and vulgar acronyms. The text above the map reads, 'the world i want to live in.' The labels include: C.U.M. for North America, B.A.L.L.S. for South America, A.N.U.S. for Africa, P.E.N.I.S. for Europe, S.E.M.E.N. for Russia, C.O.C.K. for Central Asia, S.H.I.T. for India, and F.A.G.G.O.T. for Australia.
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  • Heroin Monkey
    6 months ago
    A person holds a blue plastic handheld water ring toss game, which features cartoon fish and an octopus in a water-filled screen. The screen also contains small colorful rings. The text overlaid on the image, presented as a news headline, reads: "NEWS. GTA VI WILL NOT BE RELEASED ON THE WATER RING TOSS HANDHELD." Below this headline, smaller text says: "My favourite handheld...".
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  • Heroin Monkey
    6 months ago
    A person in a hospital bed surrounded by a vast array of medical equipment, including monitors, tubes, and pumps. Text overlay reads: "religious people will see this and say 'He's in God's hands now'". A watermark in the lower left says "@anti_theist_v1.0".
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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    "Which lawyer do you want?"

    A figure in dark robes and a wide-brimmed hat in a still from the movie Spaceballs with the text "THE SCHWARTZ."
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  • Heroin Monkey
    10 months ago
    A toy package with a figure of Gollum. The text on the package says, "MAKE HIM HOT! My Precious Smeagol Groom & Style Middle Earth Cuties WARNING: May attract A Sauron's gaze LOOK NICE 4 MASTER! Limitless Hairstyles Accessories Included Dill the Pony's tail The One Ring golden scrunchie Uruk-hai topknot Juicy sweet raw fish carcass comb FINALLY KEMPTI The Two Towers Glamour Gollum Legboot". The package includes three accessories shown with graphics: "The One Ring golden scrunchie" and "Juicy sweet raw fish carcass comb" and an image of possible hairstyles.
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