Worst Jokes Ever

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Anonymous

A screenshot of a tweet that reads "stop being horny. find jesus @stopthehorny. I am CRYING because people have sex. Please stop." The tweet was posted on April 4, 2021, at 6:02 PM via Twitter for iPhone. It has 737 retweets, 49 quote tweets, and 2,557 likes.

Anonymous

Doing Gods work wad

Deadpool holding a baby wrapped in a white cloth with a speech bubble stating, "I got him! I saved black baby Jesus!"

MEME LORD

A photograph of the Christian Universal Ministry team from 1980. The team members are wearing red and white uniforms with the word CUM printed on them.

Heroin Monkey

Heroin Monkey

The image shows the text 'Middle Eastern countries on their way to fight over the same piece of desert in the middle of nowhere for the 1000th time (the god poopenfarten said it belonged to them)' above an image of Thanos, with a sword, ready to fight.

Anonymous

A drawing shows two people. One person, wrapped in bandages, is standing. The other one is crouched in a corner looking sad. The text above them says: this isn't a disrespectful question btw. if you're catholic you believe Christ was fully human, fully divine. To deny that he had sexual temptations implies that he wasn't fully human, making you a blasphemer (punishable by excommunication for most of history) now answer: boobs. or ass.

Anonymous

Allah ack baaaaaahhhhh

A goat stands outdoors with two rifles strapped to its side with a blue cloth. It's a medium shot with the goat in the center of the image. The goat is brown and white and has horns. The background is a field with trees in the distance. The text “Allah ack baaaaaahhhhh” is related to the image.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a comic panel with two characters. On the left side, a 'soyjak' character initially says, "Easter was actually originally a pagan holiday!" then in the second row, he is saying, "BUT WE ...", and in the third he is crying saying, "THAT'S NOT...". On the right side, a man in a priest garb is saying, "Keep complaining and we'll take Toyotathon and make it a Christian holiday too." Then in the second row, he says "You just lost Shark Week", and in the third, "SHARK WEEK IS A WEEK LONG CHRISTIAN FESTIVAL NOW."

Thoughtless

A two-panel cartoon showing a stick figure with a thought bubble saying, "if god creates bad people and satan punishes bad people then satan is the good guy." Below, another stick figure in a Wendy's uniform says in a speech bubble, "Sir, this is a Wendy's."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a wallet full of money lying on the ground, surrounded by wood chips. The text above the wallet asks, "As a child of god, what's your next move?" The text below the wallet says "To thank him".

Heroin Monkey

A four-panel comic strip shows a person fishing. In the first panel, a fish is on the hook, saying "Ow. This hurts so bad.". In the second panel, the person says "A talking fish! Will you grant my wish?". The third panel shows the fish saying, "I don't have any magic. I can retake Jerusalem tho." In the final panel, the person is replaced with a crusader helmet with the speech bubble saying "What a coincidence."

Heroin Monkey

An image shows a screenshot of a group called "Plans to create and worship our leviathan lobster god", with a description explaining how to grow a lobster to divinity. Below is an image of a hand hovering over a button that says "Join Group!"

Toast ツ

The ham is in fact processed

A slab of processed ham with text describing the ham as an "unholy meat obelisk" and its processing as an "abhorrence" while also saying that it is a “declaration of mankind's contempt for the natural order”.

Heroin Monkey

A meme shows the text "JESUS DIES. THE 12 APOSTLES:" above a photo of a keyboard, with the function keys F1 through F12 highlighted in a red box.

Jesus Christ

The image shows a cartoon of Jesus floating on clouds with the text 'You are all disappointments'. The background is black with a yellow moon behind Jesus and some star-like shapes.

Heroin Monkey

The image is a split panel featuring two figures. On the left is a depiction of Jesus with a halo, and the text “Stop asking for automatic rifles and goth girls.” On the right is a Wojak character looking upset and the text “please J-man”.

BigDaveFan

A white paper with black text and a simple black drawing of a figure with a long nose. The text reads: "It's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves."

Heroin Monkey

A man in a military uniform with a black beret holding two guns. The text above the man reads "Me on my way to the local park to remind geese that it is man who is made in Gods image."

Heroin Monkey

A painting of Jesus with his arms outstretched. In the middle of the picture there are two drawings of characters, one of Satan as Soyjak and one of Jesus as Chad. The text reads, "As you can see, Satan, I portrayed you as Soyjak and me as Chad. You and your legions have been defeated once again. L+cope+seethe+touch light."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows three panels. The top panel depicts a crusader figure with a sword and shield saying, "Greetings peasant, how goes th-". The middle-left panel shows a manga character with blushing cheeks saying, "Now my armpits are going to smell like dick..." The bottom-right panel shows a pixelated crusader figure with the text "BY THE POPE".

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