Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

The image shows a tumblr post discussing the moral of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The first comment states, "The moral of Rudolph the Red nose reindeer is that no one likes you unless you're useful." The second comment says, "Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer as capitalist propaganda: discuss." The third comment argues, "Rudolph was already exactly as useful as the other reindeer. The moral is deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable."

Heroin Monkey

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

⛧ 𝓪𝓶𝔂 ⛧

man this hits

A social media post from the subreddit r/teenagers with the title: 'Bruh yk what I want?' The post reads: 'Just to be lying down, arms around a girl not just cause she's hot or cute but cause I genuinely care about her and love her and she feels the same way. Just to be like holding her close and maybe stroking her hair. Maybe at one point giving her a soft kiss or two before she'd fall asleep into my arms so I could drift off too. Yes I am cuddle horny.'

✨Jassy✨

Teacher picks me because she/he knows i'm not listening

An image shows five gophers standing in a field. The gopher in the middle is in focus, with the other four gophers slightly behind. The text on the image reads "Why do you always pick me? There are others, ya know!"

Anonymous

A screenshot of a Facebook post that reads, "Imagine giving me head & I yell out BORRRRRRINGGGGGGGG."

Centrebro

HARRY POTTER MEMES

The image contains a collage of different scenes and text from the Harry Potter movies. In one image, Umbridge says 'ADMIT IT. YOU WANTED HER DEAD MORE THAN VOLDEMORT!' Another image contains Dumbledore saying 'I'M SORRY ABOUT YOUR PARENTS, BUT NO SPELL CAN REAWAKEN THE DEAD, HARRY. I TRUST YOU KNOW THAT. EXCEPT FOR THE TIME TURNER. WE'LL USE THAT TO SAVE BUCKBEAK.' Another image says 'Neville's parents... They suffered something worse than death. What?' Another image shows Voldemort with the text 'VOLDEMORT IS AFTER SOMETHING. SOMETHING HE DIDN'T HAVE LAST TIME. A NOSE?' Another image shows Harry and Ron with Hermione, and the text 'I HAVE MY ARMY' 'WE HAVE NOSES'. Another image shows a random woman saying 'ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS RUN STRAIGHT INTO THAT BRICK WALL OVER THERE AND YOU'LL END UP ON PLATFORM 9 AND 3/4. RANDOM WOMAN YOU'VE JUST MET TELLS YOU TO RUN INTO A BRICK WALL IN ORDER TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE.' and 'SOUNDS LEGIT'. Another image asks 'Why is the Ravenclaw symbol an eagle? What other animal would you want it to be?'. and 'maybe, a Raven?'. The last image has the text 'HOW TO BUILD A PREST'

Anonymous

The image shows a text stating, "There are 2 types of people," followed by two comments. The first comment, by "Heroin Monkey," reads, "daddy diddy is cumming." The second comment, by "rylee!!," reads, "I get this is a jokes site but other people have convos as well on here. It's not just me and ethan so please stop."

Toast ツ

not a meme

Text reads: "at this moment, my bday is coming up. i was planning on ending everything when my bday comes. nobody will change my mind. ive been waiting for 4 years to finally end it all. im turning 16. i just wanna say thank you everyone who stayed with me even if it was just a few weeks or a month or more for other ppl. i just wanna thank you for everything you guys did for me. i just couldn't just abandon what ive been waiting for. ive been waiting for 4 years to finally be able to do it. i waited bc i want to see if i changed my mind. but no, its still the same thing nothing changed. i want to say goodbye for everyone here bc this might be the last time ill be online on boredpanda bc i have to get ready for the day to come. Thank you everyone, i love you guys"

Anonymous

the other cutest kitten in the world like this if you want this kitten in your hands

A cute kitten lying on its back with closed eyes and paws in the air, resting in someone's lap.

Heroin Monkey

Kerri Thorpe
This is actually a disgusting video,
my sons names jaxx and regardless
of what others think of it he loves his
name. Gosh imagine making this
video while pregnant also,
embarrassing.
2d Like Reply
Natalie Anne Forde
2.2K D
Jax means toilet here in ireland
1d Like Reply
1.3K

Anonymous

A close-up image of a man with a strained, fake smile. The text above the man reads, "That fake laugh you do when you have no idea what the other person said."

Heroin Monkey

A painting of an old man with a hat smoking a pipe. The text on the image says: "STOP BLAMING YOURSELF AND OTHERS. LEARN FENG SHUI & BLAME THE FURNITURE."

Heroin Monkey

A picture of a green pit in a yard. The text states that the person dumped a bunch of stuff in the pit.

Lil’ bro

The image shows Spongebob and Patrick wearing goofy goober hats, standing side by side, and the text "JUST THREE GOOFY GOOBERS LOOKING AT EACH OTHER" is at the top of the image.

Heroin Monkey

A text document screenshot with a paragraph about knowing fundamental rights and making informed voting decisions. Highlighted in yellow is "Even with the margin of error being 9 percent average, which is still significant." A suggestion box from Grammarly is on the right saying "One obvious solution to this problem is Iwyluwxzdlvq more civics courses in schools and wxtloj it a graduation requirement for high school students."

Anonymous

A slightly high-angle shot captures a shelf containing assorted items. On the left, "SafeFit" and "Sesame Street" products are visible, including a glow-in-the-dark safety sign with Elmo, featuring the texts: "Drive Safely! Nothing Tickles Me More!!" Beside it, a blue "Baby's Photo Album" sits next to a promotional item labeled "especially for baby." The background fades into an indistinguishable array of colors and shapes.

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

The image is a compilation of several pictures of cats with captions. One cat is running, another looks cute, one is fat and being begged not to be eaten, and another says it can change.

Adolf kitler

A cat is looking through a window or doorway. The text says: "Cat put in timeout for freeing other shelter cats".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a text list titled 'Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator'. The list provides humorous and absurd actions to perform inside an elevator.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a screenshot from Pornhub with a 'Flag This Video' dialog box open. The options are listed as 'Inappropriate content', 'Underage', 'Video does not play', 'Spam or misleading', and 'Other'. The 'Other' option is selected and the text box for the reason says 'Nudity and Sexual content'. Underneath this, there are three wolves, with two looking nonchalant labeled as "Pornhub employees", and one looking excited, labeled "Me".

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