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Grandpa

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A photo of actor Keanu Reeves looking slightly impatient. The text overlay reads: "Me waiting for my grandpa to stop choking so I can tell him I put a lego piece in his oatmeal."

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Embarrassment

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

WTF is this?

A screenshot of a comment made by a user named 'muffjn' on a social media platform. The text of the comment reads, 'i was listening to mcr and my mom walked in so i switched the tab to gay porn cause thats less embarrasing'. The timestamp indicates the comment was posted on 18 Sep 2023.

Time

Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 2 years ago

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

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Yoda

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A meme showing a close-up image of Yoda with text above. The text reads: "Me: 'Yoda please get out of my asshole PLEASE get out it hurts oh god it hurts.' Yoda: 'mm reach your colon i must.'"

Cupcake

PACKG0D · 2 years ago

A person covered in a black cloth with the text "ME GOING TO GET MY CUPCAKE" overlaid in white text.

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FBI

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

An image macro with text over a scene from the movie 'Kung Fu Panda' featuring Master Oogway. The top text describes a highly specific and bizarre scenario: 'When the FBI kicks down your door while you beating your meat to the 500 terabytes of polygender midget furry austismic monkey porn that you stole'. The bottom text, which is the character's line, reads: 'My time has come'.

Life

Alastor Wade. · 2 years ago

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

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Sukuna

DAP ME UP · 2 years ago

Two drawings of a character named Sukuna side by side. The left drawing shows Sukuna crying with the text 'Sukuna, heal my friend!' and the right drawing shows Sukuna with a smirk and the text 'No.'

FBI Agent

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.

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Boy

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image is a four panel meme, comparing math functions and social interactions. The first panel is labeled "Taking to my x" and contains a chat bubble saying "Hi, what's up". The second panel is labeled "Taking to my y" and contains the same chat bubble, but oriented vertically. The third panel is labeled "Taking to my cosin" and shows a sinusoidal wave graph with a chat bubble overlay. The fourth panel is labeled "Me and the boys getting a tan" and shows a graphic of four bird-like figures with a horizontal line below them and a chart on the left side. The last panel is labeled "Me committing arcsin" and shows a graph of a logarithmic arc. The website address boredpanda.com is at the bottom of the image.

Gorilla

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

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Celebrity

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."

Wife

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a comparison between modern and ancient Sith. The modern Sith are depicted as whiny and emotional, lamenting about being stuck in a machine and having their superweapon destroyed. The ancient Sith are portrayed as stoic and embracing pain, declaring "TO PAIN IS TO LIVE, AND BOY, AM I LIVING!"

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My

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Ball

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoon image of Spongebob's front door with two green balls stuck in the crack. The text says "Spongebob open the door. My balls are stuck."

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Grammar

The Radio Demon · 2 years ago

That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".

Hello There

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The meme shows a text conversation where a "pretty girl" says "Hello there ;)". The user's brain repeats "don't say it" multiple times. The bottom part of the image shows General Grievous, a character from Star Wars, in a screenshot, implying that the user couldn't resist saying "Hello there".

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Rug

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a black doormat with white text that reads, "it's MY home, God gave me the right to make it a tomb for federal agents or thieves", and below the text is a cartoonish drawing of a person. Above the doormat is a text that reads, "The rug I ordered 6 months ago finally came in lmao."

Love

mal♡ · 2 years ago

happy valentines day everyon!

A pink Valentine's Day card with a portrait of Johann Sebastian Bach. The text on the card reads "come bach my love", and is signed "To: WJE From: MAP".

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N word

Wade XL · 2 years ago

The image shows a screenshot with text at the top and a man with a shocked expression at the bottom. The text reads: "technically you can call a black guy the n word and I came up with this theory and it's called NROENB it's stands for NO Rasicts Or Equality Not Both. So my theory is that if black ppl call each other the n word then because they want Equality it means that Whites can call Blacks the n word Whites can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Whites the n word Blacks can call Blacks the n word. And Asians are somewhere in the middle."

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