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A monkey's face is looking directly at the camera. The text on the image says, "My lawyer watching me talk my way from a speeding ticket to the death penalty."

A dog runs fast on a green field. Text overlay says, "how I run to my bro on Valentine's Day (hopefully hes oiled up already)".

An illustration of a wizard with a staff, seemingly casting a spell. Text overlayed on the image reads: "Me casting a spell of healing on my ally (I'm injecting him with ketamine)."

The text on the image says: "The dude I pay to stop by once a week to pick up poop in my backyard just realized that I don't have pets."

A photo of actor Keanu Reeves looking slightly impatient. The text overlay reads: "Me waiting for my grandpa to stop choking so I can tell him I put a lego piece in his oatmeal."

WTF is this?

A screenshot of a comment made by a user named 'muffjn' on a social media platform. The text of the comment reads, 'i was listening to mcr and my mom walked in so i switched the tab to gay porn cause thats less embarrasing'. The timestamp indicates the comment was posted on 18 Sep 2023.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

Jorking my peniys

The image is a screenshot of a tweet by user @Xvstardust_. The tweet text reads: One time I was jorking mine peniys and... Well... Let's just say it got hard...

A meme showing a close-up image of Yoda with text above. The text reads: "Me: 'Yoda please get out of my asshole PLEASE get out it hurts oh god it hurts.' Yoda: 'mm reach your colon i must.'"

A person covered in a black cloth with the text "ME GOING TO GET MY CUPCAKE" overlaid in white text.

An image macro with text over a scene from the movie 'Kung Fu Panda' featuring Master Oogway. The top text describes a highly specific and bizarre scenario: 'When the FBI kicks down your door while you beating your meat to the 500 terabytes of polygender midget furry austismic monkey porn that you stole'. The bottom text, which is the character's line, reads: 'My time has come'.

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

Two drawings of a character named Sukuna side by side. The left drawing shows Sukuna crying with the text 'Sukuna, heal my friend!' and the right drawing shows Sukuna with a smirk and the text 'No.'

A Twitter post with the text "I squeeze my girl when she on her period cause she my Lil ketchup packet" above an image of two men. The bottom image has the text "My FBI agents" over it.

The image is a four panel meme, comparing math functions and social interactions. The first panel is labeled "Taking to my x" and contains a chat bubble saying "Hi, what's up". The second panel is labeled "Taking to my y" and contains the same chat bubble, but oriented vertically. The third panel is labeled "Taking to my cosin" and shows a sinusoidal wave graph with a chat bubble overlay. The fourth panel is labeled "Me and the boys getting a tan" and shows a graphic of four bird-like figures with a horizontal line below them and a chart on the left side. The last panel is labeled "Me committing arcsin" and shows a graph of a logarithmic arc. The website address boredpanda.com is at the bottom of the image.

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

The image shows a person with a hand-drawn, simple face over a photo of a woman on a red carpet. The text above reads: "Hello fellow humans, I am celebrity No. 2932, I believe in everything that is safe and popular with people aged 18-35. You may now praise me on the social media platform of your choice, remember to purchase my newly manufactured album."

The image shows a comparison between modern and ancient Sith. The modern Sith are depicted as whiny and emotional, lamenting about being stuck in a machine and having their superweapon destroyed. The ancient Sith are portrayed as stoic and embracing pain, declaring "TO PAIN IS TO LIVE, AND BOY, AM I LIVING!"

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

A cartoon image of Spongebob's front door with two green balls stuck in the crack. The text says "Spongebob open the door. My balls are stuck."

The Radio Demon

That always annoys me, seeing people mess up your and you’re

The image shows a four-row table with five Hazbin Hotel characters. The table contains speech bubbles with the texts "your gay", "yea", "what about my gay?", "and you're not? Loser." and "*you're" with the third row including "*finger guns*". The first row shows Angel Dust looking unimpressed and responding with "yea" to the initial statement. The second row shows Husk looking confused and asking "what about my gay?". The third row shows Charlie using finger guns. The fourth row shows Angel Dust looking offended and responding with "and you're not? Loser.". The last row shows Alastor correcting the grammar with "*you're".

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