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Cosmo the Intern

Heroin Monkey

FEBRUARY
Saturday
Right, I know it's been a while since I wrote in this,
but a whole lot has happened so let me fill you in on
everything.
Manny Heffley is the personification of human sin. Do
you wanna know the reason he tried to get me killed?
DATS FOWR NAWT
TEACHING ME HOW
TWO TIE MY SHOES,
YOU FUCKING PLOOPY.
I'M ONWEE
THWEE, BUBBY!
HEWP ME TIE MY
GAWDDAYUM
SHOES.
So I punted that little shit into the wall..
I should have paid more attention to Miom though, because
she actually stuck by her word for once. She managed to
shoot me in both legs and break i
my.
fucking kneecaps.
11

Heroin Monkey

sorry pancreatic
cancer but i
dont think you
qualify as an emotion
this is bullshit
you let spongebob in
sponging out is an
important step in a
persons life how about
you read a fucking book

TaylorSwiftBoat

E
r/Eminem
u/Kangar... . C'mon Let Me Ride - Skylar Grey Ft. Eminem...
J cole had pictures of Eminem in his bedroom
growing up alongside shirtless posters of other
men in the rap game he loved. Real recognize
real
THE
126
♡
16
readytudie
13
i_suck_a_lot +1.3h alongside shirtless posters of ot...
Reasonable-Night-875 3h
Pac's nipples are visible in the poster. I wonder if Cole
ever pretend to breastfeed off him, and called it 'drinking
GOAT milk'.
Reply
59

Raptor

Pure law-abiding citizen.

A person wearing a black balaclava and gloves is holding a gun in one hand and a book labeled "LAW" in the other. The text above reads: "HOLD ON GUYS," and the text below reads: "LET ME CHECK THE GUN LAWS FIRST".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a four-panel cartoon. In the first panel, a male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Wanda, I wish I had spider-man powers." The second panel shows Wanda, a fairy character with pink hair, looking distressed and saying, "Noooooo, Timmy, that's dangerous, you could put at risks all of humanity." In the third panel, the same male character with a beard and a red hat says, "Cosmo, I wish to change the mass of the proton." The fourth panel shows Cosmo, a fairy character with green hair, smiling and saying, "LOL, Great idea, Timmy, let's see what happens."

DAP ME UP

All these new people need a warm welcome so lets dap them up

An illustration with a yellow emoji with a gold tooth and a sly expression next to a yellow hand in a position to give a 'dap'.

incompetent ricecel_69

Nintendo Fan

The meme contrasts the lives of "My parents in their 20s" versus "Me in my 20s." The first image shows a couple standing in front of a house, and the text reads, "Let's buy this house and have 3 children". The second image shows a person in front of a computer screen creating the first part of the meme.

Heroin Monkey

A caricature of a person with bad teeth and speech bubbles showing badly spoken English phrases: "INNIT", "Oieye live in a flat", "Fookin", "Lets sip some tea yeah". In the lower right corner, a box with an eagle and the text "This meme was made by America is the Best-Country Gang".

RapBoat Bonus

r/future
2h
Join
Homie said Future new tape is mid - ended up
fucking his bitch
Discussion
Literally told him not to talk on my goat like that shit
was 8/10 MINIMUM. Asked his girl to meet up, told her
let's get some Mac Donald's, then she gave me head
ion even feel bad Lmaooo
↑ 88
○ 26
☑☑

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a picture of Barack Obama with the caption "Let me be clear". Above the picture of Obama is the text "Sand when it gets above 3,090 degrees:".

Heroin Monkey

The image shows the text "Let's take a moment and appreciate Kelly Nelson for her underrated hard work in Breaking Bad" above a list of crew members with the line "Hair Stylist: Kelly Nelson" circled in red. Below the text is a collage of bald characters from the show 'Breaking Bad'.

Willy b

The meme shows two images. The first one shows Al Bundy sitting on a couch. He looks relaxed and seems to be wearing ordinary clothes. The second image shows a two-story suburban house.

NGC 6611

The image consists of three panels stacked vertically. The first panel shows a portrait of Isaac Newton, with the text "I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation." The second panel shows a portrait of Albert Einstein with the text "I believe I'm relatively aware of it." The third panel shows a portrait of Charles Darwin, with the text "Guys! Don't let this evolve into a huge argument."

Heroin Monkey

A man with glasses and a beard looks confused in front of a black background. At the bottom of the image it says: "I don't understand why kids scream when I touch them" Next to it, it says Mikes Meme Menagerie. To the right, is a list of other videos with titles like: "Watch me blow up the world Imao", "7 dead children in my backyard", and "Is he still screaming?".

big [fire] balls

The image shows a platypus at the top, with the text "On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said..." underneath. Below that is an image of a cartoon God giving a thumbs up with the text "let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out".

Heroin Monkey

A Twitter post with a user asking a hypothetical question about getting their penis stuck in a ketchup bottle, followed by two replies.

Sooploosh MacSchnibble

The image is a comic strip showing three panels. In the first panel, an elderly man in military attire is talking to a younger man sitting next to him, who is also playing a video game. The text says, "WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I DEFEATED THE NAZIS IN HOLLAND." The younger man responds, "You have to let me go, grandpa. It's not your fault you inspired me to join the military. I knew the risks when I signed up. It was my choice." In the second panel, the younger man fades and becomes translucent. The text says, "Men shouldn't die so young." In the third panel, the elderly man is sitting alone on the chair.

CallMeLyxi

Childhood fears

The image is split into two parts. The left side contains the text: "My mom: Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Me after accidentally sleeping loose:". On the right side, there's a picture of a white cat with black spots on its head being grabbed by a large, orange toy with red tentacles, resembling a monster.

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