Worst Jokes Ever

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Heroin Monkey

Big Bird is standing looking downward. Below him text reads: "Big Bird once again kindly offers money to homeless Oscar. He knows fully well that Oscar would immediately use it to fulfill his heroin addiction, which is precisely what he wants. Enough money to help him stay addicted, but not enough to get him to quit or die. An endless cycle of suffering that keeps him throbbingly erect at night."

Heroin Monkey

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

Anonymous

A chimpanzee with a comical expression and wide open mouth. The text says: "Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you'll find a brain back there."

Anonymous

A picture shows Leonardo DiCaprio looking distressed while holding a glass of wine. Above his head, it reads: "WHEN PEOPLE SAY" and below the picture, it reads: "THEY WILL KEEP THEIR NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS"

A Star Wars Fan

A man standing next to a whiteboard presents two statements. The first says: "It's okay to play Minecraft with keep inventory on." The second says: "Video games are supposed to be fun, not stressful."

𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓰𝓸𝓴𝓾

The image is a compilation of several pictures of cats with captions. One cat is running, another looks cute, one is fat and being begged not to be eaten, and another says it can change.

A Star Wars Fan

In the "Drake Posting" meme format, Drake expresses his disapproval of deleting a song from a playlist. In the second image, Drake approves of keeping a song but skipping it every time it plays.

MEME LORD

A tweet saying, "Yo guys, I have this girls nudes should I keep em? She died so idk. Since I have em and she's dead they are kinda like rare ass pokemon cards. Discontinued by manufacturer type shit," is shown above a screenshot of a concerned-looking chef from the movie Ratatouille.

shaylie lol

The image shows two side-by-side panels. The left panel depicts a young person with a concerned expression. The right panel shows a small, white dog looking back with a slightly confused expression. Above the two panels are the text "6 year old me telling my dog that if he speaks to me I will keep the secret" and "My dog" above the right image panel.

MEME LORD

An M&M candy character is positioned next to a sticker on a package that has a peel-off arrow. There is also text on the package around the sticker.

rapboat

A social media post says "Uh oh...Drake coming..." followed by a comment that reads, "hahaha Ayo @Akademiks 23 mins and no reply yet.... Start yo clock Nigga. Keep that same enegry hahah". Below that, it says, "Liked by champagnepapi and 8,831 others" and has the username "akademiks".

rapboat

Sending this post to someone? It looks
better when you share it.
MacMiller
I wrote @ScHoolBoyQ album. I
can't keep it a secret anymore. I
wrote all the hooks and bridges.
3/18/14, 8:09 PM
6,340 RETWEETS 6,815 FAVORITES
ScHoolboy Q
@SchoolBoyQ
@MacMiller so your admitting u
use da N WORD???
3/18/14, 8:37 PM
+0
Share
He had the pass anyway. In inertia I swear he say
"all you niggas old news" hence the bleep. As
well In Shut the front door he says "I'm clearly a
Wigger" Yes that's right, with the hard R! I agree tho
man, Mac really was that (N)Wigga 8real.
173
9 Comments
13
[deleted] 14h
Pretty sure the bleep in inertia is Ariana or my ex or
my old bitch something like that but in reference to
her
Reply +8
MaclsLife OP 4h
Shit you may be right, but i like the idea of him
saying the N Word!!
-25

Anonymous

Good girl.

A man is sitting on a couch with his arm around a woman whose mouth is covered in duct tape and her hands and feet are tied. The text says "This could be us but you keep escaping."

MEME LORD

Three cartoon characters are standing side-by-side. The character on the left is a raccoon wearing a grey hoodie with "THRASHER" printed on it. The character in the center is a blue jay wearing an orange shirt with a large white Nike swoosh. The character on the right is a ghost wearing a light blue sweatshirt with "supreme" printed on it. All three are wearing pants, and the text reads: "EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHT I KEEP MY ASS UNWIPED."

Anonymous

Keep scrolling.

The image shows a woman with a scarecrow mask on her head and a white tank top. The text on the image says, "YOU STOPPED SCROLLING DIDN'T YOU."

Anonymous

Accurate.

A photo shows a wooden utility pole wrapped haphazardly with silver duct tape. The text in the image says "Actual photo of how well I'm keeping it all together right now."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a comic panel with two characters. On the left side, a 'soyjak' character initially says, "Easter was actually originally a pagan holiday!" then in the second row, he is saying, "BUT WE ...", and in the third he is crying saying, "THAT'S NOT...". On the right side, a man in a priest garb is saying, "Keep complaining and we'll take Toyotathon and make it a Christian holiday too." Then in the second row, he says "You just lost Shark Week", and in the third, "SHARK WEEK IS A WEEK LONG CHRISTIAN FESTIVAL NOW."

Wade

Bro really said “eat shit”

A comic book panel shows Sonic and Knuckles confronting an enemy. Sonic tells Knuckles to secure the Master Emerald to prevent the enemy from using its power. Knuckles questions if Sonic is crazy. The panel shows the enemy attacking, with a sound effect 'SHKOOM'

I_expose_idiots

A man is sprinkling something into the air. The text above him says "Just the intro." The text below him says "Keep reading ;)"

Nut Master

The meme features a close-up shot of a Woody doll with a wide, exaggerated smile and crossed eyes. The text overlay reads, "WHEN YOU ALREADY BUSTED BUT THEY JUST KEEP SUCKIN". In the bottom right corner is a stylized image of a small present.

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