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Autocorrect

A duck wearing a black leather jacket and sunglasses stands against a blurred background with text that reads, "what autocorrect thinks I think about all day."

Insult

A screenshot of a text message conversation on a black background. The first message, in a dark gray bubble, says, "If I jumped from your ego to your intelligence I'd die". The second message, in a blue bubble, replies, "Yeah but if I jumped from your ignorance to your reasoning I'd die of old age before I hit anything". Below the messages, an iMessage input field and various app icons are partially visible.

Gun

I AGREE WITH THIS HAHAHA

A picture shows a young boy holding up a makeshift gun made of a dollar bill towards another younger boy's head. The younger boy is pinned up against a red door.

Time

Every time

The image shows two characters from the show Friends. In the first three rows, the character on the left (Phoebe) says 'I HAVE TO' then 'SUBMIT' and finally 'MY INVOICES ON TIME'. The character on the right (Joey) says the same thing. In the last row, Phoebe says, 'I HAVE TO SUBMIT MY INVOICES ON TIME' and Joey responds 'INVOICES ARE YOUR BUSINESS NOT MINE'.

Pineapple

A three-panel image shows a speed dating scenario. In the first panel, a man asks a woman: "Do you like pineapple on pizza?" The second panel shows the woman saying: "It's OK." In the third panel, the man says: "I don't think we should see each other any more."

Bear

Bear

A four-panel comic strip. In the first panel, two figures stand outside a wall, looking at a bear sitting inside a walled area. The first figure says, "They can't be happy being locked up like that!" In the second panel, the second figure replies, "I dunno... all their needs are taken care of. Food, shelter, healthcare. They don't have to do anything." The third panel shows the same figure thinking. The last panel shows both figures looking at the bear.

Rizzler

Dang

Class

me when i get called on in class

A black Labrador puppy with a pink bandana sits looking directly at the camera. The background is blurry and appears to be an interior of a room with a yellow wall and white curtain.

Walk

I really like

The image shows an old fashioned illustration of a person in a wheelchair with the text "I REALLY LIKE LONG ROMANTIC WALKS IN THE PARK" in decorative font.

Seafood diet

A boy flexes his arm muscles. Text: I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.

Boss

A billboard shows an advertisement for a food delivery service that says, "Bowl Job for Free."

Health

An opossum sits in a hole in the ground. Text overlaid on the image reads: "Mentally, I am not well. Physically? Also no. Spiritually? No."

Lizard

The image shows text on a white background. The first line says, "SOME PEOPLE HAVE A" in black. The word "GIRLFRIEND" is in large red letters with a female gender symbol to the right. The next line says, "SOME PEOPLE HAVE A" in black. The word "BOYFRIEND" is in large blue letters with a male gender symbol to the right. Below this, the text "I HAVE" is followed by "to check out this lizard hang on stop walking I want to see this lizard" in smaller black letters. At the bottom right, there is a green lizard.

Music

A photo of a man in a suit looking serious. Above him, a small, chaotic black and white graphic and the text "You listen to". Below him, a larger, also chaotic black and white graphic and the text "I listen to". Below, the text "We are not the same."

Snail

The image is a six-panel comic strip. In the first panel, a man is pointing up and saying, "If salt kills snails, then if my hypothesis is correct". The second panel shows a snail in a box with pepper being sprinkled over it and text saying, "Pepper should, in fact, bring them back to life!". The third panel shows the snail glowing with a bright light. The fourth panel shows a giant snail with the man standing at his feet and text saying, "Oh god, I was wrong. It just makes them huge and horny!!". The fifth panel shows a huge snail close-up with long tendrils and text saying, "Now lemme get ya slimey- I wanna nibble on your virginity!". The sixth panel shows the man crying and screaming with a snail tendril coming towards him with text saying, "Mum get the salt! Get the f***ing salt!"

Condom

The image shows text stating "I ran out of condoms and lube. But, no worries, I've got back up." Above the "But, no worries" line, there is an image of lube and condoms, and below it, there are images of Ziploc bags, rubber bands, and WD-40.

Cigarette

The image shows a circular flow diagram. It starts with the text "I wake up", then an arrow points to a picture of a cat and multiple packages of Natural American Spirit cigarettes and the text "maybe 5 packs of cigs will help". Another arrow leads to "post silly things online" and then to "there is something wrong with me" before going back to "I wake up".

Equation

if i had 8 good women what does that mean

A screenshot of a text explaining a calculation. The text states that, according to Kanye West, one good girl is worth a thousand bitches, and according to Lil Wayne, bitches are cheap. The text calculates that, therefore, one good girl is worth $8.33. It refers to this as a 'basic equation substitution method' and 'could be a SAT question'

Motorcycle

A cartoon character with a red face, wearing sunglasses, and smiling is displayed in the center. The text below the cartoon reads: "so long suckers! I rev up my motorcycle and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

Place

The image shows a map of the USA with counties outlined. There are several colored areas. A key indicates that the orange area represents "bread", "crust", and "pepperoni", and that the blue area represents "the place I beat an elderly man to death in 2004".

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