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Calvin

Thoughtless · 2 years ago

Remember when Calvin wanted to commit a school shooting?

A cartoon drawing on a sheet of notebook paper shows a boy named Calvin drawing himself in a tank. He draws himself firing the tank at a school building where kids are jumping out the window. Miss Wormwood comes to stop him. In the last panel, Calvin's teacher Miss Wormwood is shown taking a drawing from a student and making a comment about public schools.

Find

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

Quiz

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A quiz titled "Quiz - Do I Have Autism" asking the user to "Take this 2 minute quiz and find out if you have the most common signs." above an arrow pointing right.

Corner

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A list of ten things to do in an elevator. The text reads: Top 10 Things To Do In An Elevator. 1. Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. 2. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" 3. Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" 4. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. 5. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". 6. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. 7. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral. 8. Dress up as the devil and then ask other people as they get in, "Going down?" 9. Drag a desk into the elevator. Ask "Do you have an appointment?" 10. Announce in a demonic voice, "I must find a more suitable host body."

Pasta

Kristian‽ · 2 years ago

for big dave fan

A man is presenting six plates with different pasta dishes on a table, next to a vertical ranking board. The text says: "What is the most Fuckable Pasta? I Fucked 6 different Pastas to Find Out!" and is presented on a Pornhub interface.

Pasta

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A screencap of a Pornhub video featuring a man standing in front of six plates of pasta. The title reads "What is the most fuckable pasta? I fucked 6 different pastas to find out!" The video has 134,867 views, an 88% rating, and was posted 10 months ago.

Compliment

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

This is so bad

A screenshot of two tweets. The first tweet is from Caitlyn Jenner, it reads "It's so hard to find a straight man that is confident enough to compliment me on my looks.". The second tweet is a reply from Donald J. Trump, and it reads "Nice balls."

Fact

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a revolver with one bullet loaded. The text above the gun says "Fun fact: 5 in 6 people finds russian roulette completely harmless."

Cupcake

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows four items: a brownie, two chocolate cupcakes, two twinkies, and a book cover of "The Communist Manifesto". The text reads "I loved finding these in my lunchbox" and "THE COMMUNIST MANIFESTO KARL MARX AND FRIEDRICH ENGELS".

Movie

Mafuyu Asahina · 2 years ago

Here me out this would be a sad movie

A digital art image of a skinny black boy with a large afro, standing in a barren landscape, with rows of people in the background. The text on the image reads "Finding Water" and "Disney • PIXAR".

Opinion

Wade · 2 years ago

The image shows three panels of Winnie the Pooh. The first panel shows a regular Winnie the Pooh with the text "WHO ASKED" next to him. The second panel shows Winnie the Pooh in a suit with the text "I AM SORRY, BUT I COULDN'T FIND WHO WANTED THIS OPINION." next to him. The third panel shows Winnie the Pooh in a suit, monocle, and mustache with the text "I APOLOGIZE, KIND SIRE, BUT THE PERSON WHO WANTED TO KNOW THIS OPINION COULD NOT BE FOUND ANYWHERE NEAR OUR LOCATION AND IT'S UNLIKELY WE WILL EVER SEE HIM." next to him.

Dog

R3Y · 2 years ago

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

Introvert

Johnathon · 2 years ago

A tweet by Vivian that reads: "single introverts be like if it's meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room."

Hacker

Hecker · 2 years ago

When You Outsmart Hackers

Two images are shown in a vertical arrangement. The upper image depicts a cat in a hat looking concerned with the text "the hacker trying to find my address". The lower image displays a cloaked figure walking towards the viewer in front of a purple background, with the text "me who's homeless".

Mom

Cricket Green · 3 years ago

Oh no

The image shows a skeleton sitting on a bench. The text on the image says: "WHEN YOUR MOM FINDS OUT THAT COOLMATH GAMES IS MORE - COOL THAT MATH".

Gucci

BellaTrix · 3 years ago

A picture from the Harry Potter movies. Bellatrix Lestrange is seen wielding her wand, looking shocked. The text in the image reads "Are those... Guccis?!?!?!"

Bed

BellaTrix · 3 years ago

A meme featuring Snape and Bellatrix from Harry Potter. Bellatrix is saying "Snape, I'm amazing in bed. Care to find out?" and Snape is replying, "Bellatrix, I'd rather kiss a Dementor."

Nose

Toast ツ · 3 years ago

A screenshot of a comment section on a website. The comments feature a back-and-forth between multiple users including Jake, amyyy342, Toast4128, and Wade.

Pair

GG Miller · 3 years ago

DAD JOKE

Cheese

Mr. CheezFartz · 3 years ago

If you people find this confusing, nothing is because CHEESE IS CHEESE!!!

The image shows text saying "Cheese has holes. More cheese = more holes. More holes = less cheese. More cheese = less cheese." Below the text is a picture of an alien with squinted eyes and a slight frown.

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