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Son

6 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man with glasses looks into the camera. Above him is the text: "Extra fries? I thought you said to beat up my bisexual son!"

Supermarket

135 views · Cosmo idk · 2 months ago

A screenshot of a satirical online news article. The image shows an older woman wearing a dark head covering (hijab), holding her forehead in distress while standing in the refrigerated aisle of a supermarket. The headline reads: "Tragic: Mamdani's Auntie Slightly Uncomfortable At Supermarket After Australian Terror Attack." The article excerpt mentions the New York City Mayor-elect Zohr.

Pregnancy

16 views · Heroin Monkey · 7 months ago

A photoshopped image featuring footballer Cristiano Ronaldo smiling while standing next to streamer IShowSpeed, who has a visibly pregnant belly and is holding it with his hands. Both are looking towards the camera and smiling. The background is a soft, blurred light with some sparkles.

Kid

3 views · Why should you care · 1 year ago

this is me

The image features a still from the movie Anchorman, showing Ron Burgundy, played by Will Ferrell, sitting at a desk in a blue suit with a striped tie, holding a beer bottle. The text in white font above and below him reads: 'LET'S BE HONEST. HOMESCHOOLING MY KID IS NOT GOING TO MAKE HER WEIRD. I'M HER MOTHER... SHE WAS DOOMED FROM THE START.'

Overlord

1 view · Why should you care · 1 year ago

Meet your new evil overlord

A white and orange cat rests its head on a sleeping baby. Text overlay reads, "I have claimed this tiny human for myself. You may leave now."

Baby

2 views · Cricket Green · 2 years ago

Me

A four-panel cartoon shows a baby wrapped in orange cloth. In the first panel, the baby is yelling. In the second panel, the baby's mother is holding the baby and saying 'Here it comes!'. In the third panel, the baby, now wearing sunglasses and holding two guns, says 'Tickle my pickle, mami'. In the fourth panel, the mother says 'Oh no' and looks scared. Text in the panels says, 'AHHH...', 'HERE IT COMES!', 'TICKLE MY PICKLE, MAMI', 'OH NO'.

Acid

5 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person with white face paint looks into the camera. Above the image the text 'I'm on acid right now haha' is displayed. Below the image is a text in Amharic that translates to 'Because of the actions you have done, your family will spill blood. They will feel eternal pain for your actions. The tears they shed will turn to blood. The pain they feel will be unbearable. Soon you will be alone.' Below this text, is the text: 'Fuck you'

Baby

5 views · imshorttehe · 2 years ago

If my firnd had a baby like this id call him ✨ "retard" ✨

A close-up image of a newborn baby with a scrunched-up face and mouth open, as if yelling or crying. The image also contains text that says, "My friend just had a baby.."

Grandma

7 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two panels side by side. On the left, there is a photo of an elderly woman, labeled "grandma". On the right is a metallic urn with gold angel wings, labeled "grandma.zip".

Apple

1 view · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A picture of Bert and Ernie at a stand with a sign saying "APPLES 5¢". The text below says, "Bert and Ernie undercut the current apple market value, forcing their competitors' families into poverty."

Emoji

14 views · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text message exchange. The dad says 'Your uncle Mark died' followed by 'We are planning on cremating him' with fire and skull emojis. The child replies, 'Dad, that's not how we use emojis.'

Uncle

1 view · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A text message conversation where the first person mentions seeing their uncle's lambs, then reveals that the uncle has 370 pregnant sheep, and finally asks if the recipient wants to know who the father is.

Jail

1 view · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A car window decal shows three stick figures in jail, then a female stick figure and nine small stick figures indicating a family.

Life

13 views · Alastor Wade. · 2 years ago

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

Year

1 view · Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows text saying "8 year old me in my room listening to Minecraft parodies while my parents argue in the kitchen:" above a blurry video showing a person dancing in a room.

Ball

7 views · Sooploosh MacSchnibble · 1 year ago

A large, colorful beach ball, with a man standing next to it. The text below the image reads: "A fun way to ruin a weekend and blow 100 bucks. We took this ball to the beach and after close to 2 hours to pump it up, we pushed it around for about 10 fun filled minutes. That was when the wind picked it up and sent it huddling down the beach at about 40 knots. It destroyed everything in its path. Children screamed in terror at the giant inflatable monster that crushed their sand castles. Grown men were knocked down trying to save their families. The faster we chased it, the faster it rolled. It was like it was mocking us. Eventually, we had to stop running after it because its path of injury and destruction was going to cost us a fortune in legal fees. Rumor has it that it can still be seen stalking innocent families on the Florida panhandle. We lost it in South Carolina, so there is something to be said about its durability."

Brother

2 views · big [fire] balls · 1 year ago

The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

Ladder

3 views · The Dark humor Hub · 1 year ago

A photo of a stepladder next to the text "I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid."

Dad

2 views · The Dark humor Hub · 1 year ago

A still from Finding Nemo is juxtaposed with a quote. The quote reads, "What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found."

Bug

9 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A cartoon-style image shows a cute bug. The image's text reads "Cool bug facts. My dad beats me."

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