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Night

Shit-post master general · 1 year ago

It’s so cold make it stop

A cartoon image of Squidward Tentacles from Spongebob Squarepants lying in bed, wide awake with a distressed, almost horrified expression, not peacefully sleeping. A small teddy bear is tucked in next to him. The text overlaid on the image reads: "How I sleep at night after killing the evil skin walkers who kept pretending to be my family:"

Uncle

Anonymous · 2 years ago

A text message conversation where the first person mentions seeing their uncle's lambs, then reveals that the uncle has 370 pregnant sheep, and finally asks if the recipient wants to know who the father is.

Father

shaylie lol · 2 years ago

A young man sits in the backseat of a car, looking slightly awkward. The text overlay says: "When your father is yelling at you about being irresponsible on your way to school and you're waiting to tell him that you forgot your bag at home."

Ladder

The Dark humor Hub · 2 years ago

A photo of a stepladder next to the text "I have a stepladder because my real ladder left when I was just a kid."

Overlord

Why should you care · 1 year ago

Meet your new evil overlord

A white and orange cat rests its head on a sleeping baby. Text overlay reads, "I have claimed this tiny human for myself. You may leave now."

Brother

big [fire] balls · 2 years ago

The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

Son

Heroin Monkey · 1 year ago

A man with glasses looks into the camera. Above him is the text: "Extra fries? I thought you said to beat up my bisexual son!"

Bro

Face mcshooty · 1 year ago

An anime character with pink hair is praying with his hands together. The text above him says: "Me thanking God for letting bro be born instead of ending up in rubber or toilet."

Baby

Cricket Green · 3 years ago

Me

A four-panel cartoon shows a baby wrapped in orange cloth. In the first panel, the baby is yelling. In the second panel, the baby's mother is holding the baby and saying 'Here it comes!'. In the third panel, the baby, now wearing sunglasses and holding two guns, says 'Tickle my pickle, mami'. In the fourth panel, the mother says 'Oh no' and looks scared. Text in the panels says, 'AHHH...', 'HERE IT COMES!', 'TICKLE MY PICKLE, MAMI', 'OH NO'.

Grandma

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows two panels side by side. On the left, there is a photo of an elderly woman, labeled "grandma". On the right is a metallic urn with gold angel wings, labeled "grandma.zip".

Dad

aidencool67 · 2 years ago

my dad is good

A video still shows a bicycle in the street and the text "Holy shit! Your dad is a good biker." The video is taken at night.

Baby

imshorttehe · 2 years ago

If my firnd had a baby like this id call him ✨ "retard" ✨

A close-up image of a newborn baby with a scrunched-up face and mouth open, as if yelling or crying. The image also contains text that says, "My friend just had a baby.."

Apple

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A picture of Bert and Ernie at a stand with a sign saying "APPLES 5¢". The text below says, "Bert and Ernie undercut the current apple market value, forcing their competitors' families into poverty."

Emoji

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows a text message exchange. The dad says 'Your uncle Mark died' followed by 'We are planning on cremating him' with fire and skull emojis. The child replies, 'Dad, that's not how we use emojis.'

Life

Alastor Wade. · 2 years ago

Wouldn’t the person be dead before the strangling starts? Unless Alastor did surgery?

The image contains a conversation between Alastor and Charlie. Alastor says, "You know, Charlie, thanks to your hotel scheme, I've learned to appreciate the little things in life and death." Charlie replies, "Yes! Good, Al! Like what?" Alastor then lists, "All the usual things: my first ever radio broadcast, helping my mother cook, and being the first ever person to actually strangle someone with their intestines."

Acid

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A person with white face paint looks into the camera. Above the image the text 'I'm on acid right now haha' is displayed. Below the image is a text in Amharic that translates to 'Because of the actions you have done, your family will spill blood. They will feel eternal pain for your actions. The tears they shed will turn to blood. The pain they feel will be unbearable. Soon you will be alone.' Below this text, is the text: 'Fuck you'

Year

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

The image shows text saying "8 year old me in my room listening to Minecraft parodies while my parents argue in the kitchen:" above a blurry video showing a person dancing in a room.

Wife

Shitpost master-general · 8 months ago

A meme with text at the top: "Me When my wife asks me where our daughters heart surgery money went (the evil blackjack dealer has it)". Below the text is a close-up photo of a brown dog looking directly at the camera with a wide-eyed, shocked, or guilty expression.

Shower

ohio_armpit · 3 years ago

me when i get outa the shower and my knocks on the door

A close-up of a man's face distorted with wide eyes and an open mouth.

Dad

Big daddy2.0 · 3 years ago

So true

An image of Nemo looking displeased. To the right is the text: "What do my dad and Nemo have in common? They both can't be found."

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