Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

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Sooploosh MacSchnibble

homuratrash:
guy at disney: sir? stitch, a small logic defying blue alien from outer fucking
space, needs a heterosexual romance
disney ceo: okay....but we gotta know she's Female, do u understand?
....she needs long antennae..like long hair..mascara...smooth chest that
sticks out a little more because we need to be reminded that she still got
titties even tho she's a tiny fucking alien
guy at disney: should we make her pink, sir?
disney ceo: ricky you goddamn genius. here are my keys. go to my house
and fuck my wife

Heroin Monkey

The text says "Schrödinger's blowjob?" followed by a description of a hypothetical scenario. It states that while blindfolded one receives the best blowjob ever. The identity of the person is not known and it could be anyone such as Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold or even the fireman's cat. The question asked is if you would take off the blindfold to find out, or just leave it on.

A Star Wars Fan

The image shows two panels labeled "girls" and "boys." In the girls' panel, there are two crying women with the text "I can't believe he didn't cry at the Titanic," and "Do men even have feelings?" In the boys' panel, a "Chad" is contrasted with a screenshot from the Minecraft game, which reads, "Failed to connect to the server. The Hive Java Edition has closed down. Thank you for 8 years of amazing memories! Visit HiveMC.com for more information. We hope to see you on Minecraft: Bedrock Edition. Back to Server List."

Anonymous

A woman in a Hooters uniform stands in a restaurant. The text reads: "I'm not even hungry no mo."

Anonymous

An illustration of a cartoon possum saying, "What do u mean 'unhinged'? I don't even have hinges, bro."

Anonymous

Oop- get called out

A screenshot of a tweet by user @selfluvnbbg. The tweet reads, "What do boys even find attractive about boobs, they are literally balls of fat on my chest. IF YOU CAN LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY CHEST WHY CAN'T YOU LOVE ME FOR THE FAT ON MY STOMACH YOU PIECE OF SHIT."

Heroin Monkey

A rotisserie chicken is placed on the pages of an open book. The text overlay reads: "Didn't have a bookmark. Just using a rotisserie chicken instead. Dude wth is wrong with you. You can't even close the book, how is that a bookmark? Can't knock it till you try it."

MEME LORD

Three cartoon characters are standing side-by-side. The character on the left is a raccoon wearing a grey hoodie with "THRASHER" printed on it. The character in the center is a blue jay wearing an orange shirt with a large white Nike swoosh. The character on the right is a ghost wearing a light blue sweatshirt with "supreme" printed on it. All three are wearing pants, and the text reads: "EVEN ON THE COLDEST NIGHT I KEEP MY ASS UNWIPED."

Anonymous

Does thou even lift thy weighted equipment?

A drawing of a historical duel between two men with an additional two observers. The text above reads: "I bet if we brought back dueling there would be a lot less butthurt bitches."

Wade

The image is a three-panel comic strip showing Spider-Man standing above Moon Knight. Spider-Man says, "It's over, Moon Knight! I have the high ground!". Moon Knight replies, "Impossible. You don't even know how many drugs I'm on right now. That's not what I--". In the third panel, Moon Knight is moving quickly and says, "Less talk, more VENGEANCE!!"

Heroin Monkey

A Facebook post with three comments. The original post states, "The world ain't gonna end cause if it did the country Hawaii woulda sunk by now yall stupid." The first comment says, "Hawaii is a state". The second comment says, "no it a country its near Africa I think I know my economics ok". And the final comment says "did..did you even go to school.."

Heroin Monkey

A black car with paw prints on the hood. The text above the car reads: "I think a large frog was here maybe even a toad."

DAP ME UP

Close-up image of a distorted monster-like face with large eyes and teeth. The text overlay reads: "can't even have hotels in Ohio"

Thoughtless

experiment

The post is a text-based message with several paragraphs detailing a hypothetical scenario involving gorillas and drugs in a shopping mall.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows the development of a person through four stages of life. In the first picture, the figure is an old man with a hat standing next to a door, the second picture is a man sitting on a chair with a question mark, and the third picture is a man kneeling with a stressed expression, the last picture is a boy drawing on an easel. The text "It starts with" is at the top. The text "one thing" is near the beginning. The text "I don't know why" is above the next picture. The text "It doesn't even matter how hard you try" is above the last picture.

Heroin Monkey

A meme featuring a waitress in an Olive Garden restaurant, who asks: "Would you like to start out with our unlimited salad and breadsticks this evening?" Ben Shapiro appears to the right with the text: "that is literally impossible."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a comparison of two images of trucks with the text 'how it started' and 'how it's going' written above it. The first image on the left shows a white truck with its front hood open and two cartoon hands pointing at the vehicle. The second image on the right shows two trucks in a romantic embrace, framed by a red heart. The image also has the user name "dexter" and the handle "@DexterSoWhat" and the text "So now even trucks getting more love than me?"

Heroin Monkey

A painting of Vlad the Impaler wearing a red hat and ornate clothing, with the text "It's never too late to follow your dreams. Vlad the Impaler didn't even start impaling people until his mid-30s."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a definition of "dirty chewbacca" and below a cartoon of Skeletor, saying, "Even I'm not into that shit." The text above says: "When a girl is deepthroating you, you pinch her nipples right as you cum. Her scream paired with the warm liquid and dick in her throat will produce a sound similar to chewbacca's growl."

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets from user @xMangojuice. The first one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. went camping with my uncircumcised friend and he didn't even bring a sleeping bag? lol he's gonna be freezing tn". The second one says: "2star yelp review @xMangojuice. oh my god wait what is he doing".

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