Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Emergency Memes

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message exchange. One message reads, "911 what's your emergency?" The other message reads, "I got stabbed." Below the text is a warthog wearing a chef's hat.

Adolf Nigler

The image shows a meme with text stating "California: On fire." and "Fire Department:". Below this text is an image of a silver and yellow fire hydrant that is designed to look like a cartoon clown.

Thoughtless

A text message conversation shows someone asking an "emergency question" about where to keep a baby goat that they impulsively bought. The other person replies with "WHAT THE FUCK. ...this is a joke right?" Then, there is a picture of a baby goat with the caption "This is Billy."

Thoughtless

A yellow piece of paper attached to a wall reads "EARTHQUAKE DETECTION KIT". Two googly eyes are attached to the paper below the text.

Why should you care

I haven't seen sunlight in 3 years

The image is divided into two sections. The left side shows a picture of Gollum holding an Amazon box with the text "What my neighbors see as I emerge from my house once a week to get a delivery." The right side shows a picture of Thanos with the text "me pondering cyber monday deals over thanksgiving leftovers."

Willy b

The image shows the back of a brown hoodie. The design on the back has a stylized American flag with red stripes and a text saying 'All faster than dialing 911' written in white. To the right, there is a list of bullet calibers next to their respective bullet shape.

Heroin Monkey

A black and white image of a bartender behind a bar, with drinks on the counter. The text in the image reads: "I was drinking a beer and the bartender yelled 'Anyone know CPR?' I yelled 'I know the entire alphabet.' And we all laughed and laughed, well except for this one guy."

Jazzy💕

A meme shows a dog with a telephone receiver at its ear. The text above shows a conversation between 911 and a dog, where the dog reports that its owner has been gone for .02 seconds, and 911 asks if the dog has tried eating the couch.

Heroin Monkey

A can of a lime green drink with a silver top is shown from a top-down angle. There is red liquid around the opening of the can. The text on the image says: "Ran out of lotion". There is a skull emoji in the lower left, and an instagram handle in the bottom right corner.

Heroin Monkey

A blurry image of a man running, with the text 'When you're having the best sex of your life and suddenly someone else enters the morgue.' at the top.

Heroin Monkey

A photograph of the Sidney & Lois Eskenazi Hospital at night, with the text "GO AHEAD" at the top and "GET INJURED" at the bottom.

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a tweet from user @blockeveryacct that reads "maryland has fallen" above a screenshot of a public safety alert for Thanksgiving. The alert urges people to wear a mask, social distance, get tested and remember Maryland.

Heroin Monkey

A yellow rectangular alarm device with the text "SMORK" on top and "ALAM" at the bottom. Two small light bulbs are in the center, the right one green.

CrackedRuby_alt

Welp

A four-panel cartoon shows a pink man with a paper cut on his arm. He looks alarmed. In the next panel he stands next to a box that says "In case of emergency break glass". In the third panel he punches the glass to break it. In the last panel he stands with a heavily bleeding arm next to the broken box.

M3ME G0D

A red toy phone has the words "It's Time to Call" above "911". A hand is pressing the button. There are cartoon children on the side.

Bozo

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first person asks, "Hi how old are you?" The second person replies "14" and asks, "Bout' you?" The first person replies, "You're so young. I'm 32 yrs old. But age is just a number" with an emoji. The second person says, "Yeah... you know what else is a number?" followed by "911".

Cocel 😮💨

The image shows two panels. The top panel has an image of a helicopter refilling from a pool, with the text: "Helicopter re-filling from my pool to go fight fires and save lives:". The bottom panel shows a close up of a monkey looking nervously from side to side with the text: "Me who just filled the pool with gasoline:".

blach66

A scene from the Simpsons shows Ralph sitting on a bus with a worried expression. Above the image is text that reads, "When you tell your English teacher she made a spelling mistake." Below Ralph, the text says "(chuckles) I'm in danger."

blach66

An image from the game Among Us with a black crewmate pressing the emergency meeting button. The text on the image reads: "WHEN MY BROTHER PUTS THE MILK IN FIRST" and "EMERGENCY MEETING".

Chri5

Hol up

The image shows a four-panel comic strip followed by a screenshot from the game "Among Us". In the first four panels, a man is shown sitting at a table on four different "free days": "tobacco free day", "alcohol free day", "coffee free day", and "masturbation free day". In each panel, he has a smoking object in his mouth. The fifth panel is a screenshot of the "Among Us" game, showing an "Emergency Meeting". Text on the image says, "EMERGENCY MEETING" and "Calera".

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