Worst Jokes Ever

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Worst Jokes Ever

Drive Memes

Heroin Monkey

A man is looking at his phone. The text says: "Dude, you're drunk, you can barely walk." Yeah no shit, that's why I'm gonna drive home, dumbass.

MATTIX

The image shows a car with its top facing down, with the text "USA: Drives on the right. Britain: Drives on the left. *Australia*."

LtPancakes98

care to explain bitch? it seems thats what youre good at

The image shows a text box that contains the text "Explain Bear. Alright, listen up, you smoothbrain. You're here 'cause you don't know that Doom Eternal is a first-person shooter, not a driving game. There ain't no cars to customize, see? The image shows a search result mixin' up Doom Eternal with GTA. The car customization is a GTA thing. You got it? You just mixed up two different video games."

Heroin Monkey

Two tweets are shown in a side by side comparison. The first tweet reads: "To be fair, you could drive for 149 hours across Vatican City if you drive slow enough." The second tweet below the first one reads: "You can drive for 149 hours across Russia and still be in Russia". The second tweet also includes an image of the Russian map with a line of travel highlighted. It shows the route from west to east of Russia and has a text bubble displaying '149 hr'.

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

The image shows Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong sitting side by side in a car. Above them, the text reads, "Jacqueline Kennedy and the Secret Service driving to the nearest car wash."

Heroin Monkey

A collage of screenshots of Scotty Kilmer's YouTube videos. Each video has a different theme: using fuel additives when one can't afford beer, being drunk, and keeping secrets. The word "Secret" is overlaid twice on two different videos. The word "Drunk" is overlaid on one video.

tabs1528

The image shows a news graphic with the headline "Florida man claims he only drank at stoplights, and not while driving" along with the text "arrested for DUI" and a mugshot of Earle Stevens.

Anonymous

A slightly high-angle shot captures a shelf containing assorted items. On the left, "SafeFit" and "Sesame Street" products are visible, including a glow-in-the-dark safety sign with Elmo, featuring the texts: "Drive Safely! Nothing Tickles Me More!!" Beside it, a blue "Baby's Photo Album" sits next to a promotional item labeled "especially for baby." The background fades into an indistinguishable array of colors and shapes.

rapboat

The top half of the image shows a yellow sign in the shape of a child with a smiling face, placed at the side of the road. The sign reads, "Drive like your kids live here." The bottom half shows the Drake Yes/No meme, with Drake smiling and pointing approvingly to the right at a yellow U-turn sign.

ℑ𝔪 𝔚𝔦𝔱𝔥 𝔖𝔱𝔲𝔭𝔦𝔡

real

A man with a wide, slightly maniacal smile is in the bottom part of the image. Above him in white letters it says: "Driving at 200 mph in a school zone:".

MEME LORD

A yellow emoji with wide eyes, exaggerated eyelashes, and a large, open mouth is holding a fist to its mouth. The text above reads, "Love, that's not the coughing emoji. Edited to add: as of this morning (1st April), Tanunda is now doing a drive through. You can just explain your symptoms, and drive through and get tested - no appointment needed for this. As for the walk in clinic at the back of the hospital - this is STILL operating and STILL requires you to make an appointment. Thanks everyone! Hi everyone. A member wanted me to update you on the Corona Virus Health Testing Station set up at Tanunda Hospital. Please don't just roll up, as y..."

Anonymous

A man is sitting on a contraption with wheels. The woman in the red suit is attached to it. Another woman with a black leather outfit and a mask is pulling the contraption with a rope. Text on the image says "Jake asking Madi if she wants to "take a relaxing drive"."

rapboat

A picture of Rick Ross wearing a baseball cap and jewelry. Below, the text reads "Rick Ross is afraid Teslas will automatically drive him to police."

Heroin Monkey

The image shows the front of a liquor store with wooden poles angled into the ground near the parking lot. Text overlaid on the image says, "The front of a liquor store".

Heroin Monkey

An alien with a slight smile looks at the viewer. The text above says: "me looking at the driving instructor after grabbing his 🍆 instead of the shifter".

Toast ツ

The image contains two posts from the anonymous image board 4chan. The first post is by someone who was released from prison after serving four years for a bank robbery, though they pled down to aggravated assault. They now wonder what to do for work besides drive a truck. The second post replies with a plan to start a youtube channel to critique bank robberies in video games, and eventually talk about prison life to get 350k subscribers and make more money than most people.

Heroin Monkey

A billboard on a highway with multiple cars in the foreground. The billboard reads: "Texting while driving KILLS. For more driving tips, text "SAFETY" to 79191."

M3ME G0D

The text reads: "Did anyone else's parents used to drive them around neighborhoods to look at people's Christmas lights and it used to be the most exciting thing ever??"

Bozo

The image shows an oak tree with a face. Above the tree, text says: "oh no my dad is driving drunk someone stop him!" some random oak tree:

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