Worst Jokes Ever

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Dad Memes

Unimportant Intelligence

The image shows Hagrid's face and the text: "Did you know? Dumbledore always called him Hagrid whilst he referred to everyone else by their first name. That's because his full name was actually Hagrid Rubeus Hagrid. Hagrid is Latin for "The Hairy One" and he's so big his dad named him it twice."

Heroin Monkey

An anonymous 4chan post from January 13, 2021, at 09:59:24 with the number 844740211. The post consists of a green text story:
"masturbating in bedroom", "about to cum", "dad comes running in naked screaming", "and here comes dad from left field!!", "he does a running jump", "lands asshole first on my dick", "penetration.png", "cum", "mfw he laughs and calls me a faggot for cuming in another guy". The post ends with "EVERY FUCKING TIME". To the left of the text is a drawing of Wojak pointing a gun at his head.

Caylez.cc

The image shows a blurry bird running with the text "8 year old me running over to my dad because 'bob from work' is calling."

Lil’ bro

The image shows Anakin Skywalker looking annoyed with the text "When your Mom & Dad tell you to stop jumping on your bed but you hear their bed squeaking at 2am. It's not fair!"

Pankake

A yellow road sign with a silhouette of a chicken is shown, and beneath it, in a real world scene, stands a black chicken. The text above the image reads, "My dad sent me a picture this morning and said 'it finally happened'".

Lil’ bro

A collage of different images of the character Bandit Heeler from the cartoon "Bluey". Several images show Bandit in various poses. Some images have text on them, for example "BANDIT HEELER", "DAD", and "The Blueyfather".

Heroin Monkey

A grid of six different pictures of people with labels. The first picture shows a boy, labeled 'THE BOY YOU LIKE'. The second shows a girl, labeled 'HIS GIRLFRIEND'. The third shows a young man, labeled 'HIS BROTHER'. The fourth is another picture of a girl, labeled 'HIS EX'. The fifth is of a middle-aged man, labeled 'HIS DAD'. The last picture is of a priest, labeled 'YOU'.

Heroin Monkey

DAD IS FUCKING DEAD. HE SHOT HIMSELF.
Rodrick and I heard a bang come from the basement, and
the first thing we see is DAD ON THE FLOOR WITH
A BULLET IN HIS FUCKING HEAD. When Mom
turned around, I tell she looked batshit crazy. She
was
you
holding a glock and looked like a fucking animal.
I'M GONNA
BREAK YOUR
FUCKING
LEGS GREG
WHAT THE
HELL?!
She then threatened us for answers for who told Dad,
and when I thought things couldn't get any i
BUBBY
DID IT!
worse...
HE had to fuck shit up.
10

Heroin Monkey

The image shows a page from a diary with hand-written text and a small drawing of a person on a couch looking dejected.

Heroin Monkey

It's like 5:00pm, and Mom is driving me home as we
speak. I can't fucking believe that my mother is a
whore. I witnessed my own mother pleasing another man
and I feel disgusting.
During the ride, we didn't speak to each other for
about 30 minutes. All of a sudden, Mom asked if I
could forget everything that happened today. I said I
would, but I knew that this hoe could not step another
foot into this household.
GREG, LISTEN.
HOW ABOUT
WE FORGET
ABOUT WHAT
HAPPENED
TODAY?
YEAH, SURE.
WHATEVER.
@gabriel
She then asked me not to tell Dad about this. I said
I wouldn't, but you can't make a promise to a hoe who
breaks her wedding vows.

Heroin Monkey

MOM WHAT
THE FUCK!?
HOLY SHIT,
IT'S GREG!
MOM was GIVING HER WHOLE HEAD to Mr.
Winsky, and Vice Principal Roy is FUCKING DEAD!
As soon as I walked in these fuckers immediately acted
like they weren't just fucking crawling over each other.
That filthy homewrecker Mr. Winsky sent Mom and told
her to take me home. Fucking delinquents.
I have to tell Dad that Mom is a whore somehow. This
bitch needs to be sent to the streets.
3

Heroin Monkey

A text conversation where one person says "Dinner is served", another responds with "Bone apple teeth" and then a third person posts a picture of a mugshot of a man with the text "Pls stop using your dad's mugshot as a reaction pic" and "JUN 17 2017"

Nintendo Fan

Two images show a dad holding a baby. The text says "Mom said 'NO' So I asked dad and he said 'YES'".

Heroin Monkey

A screenshot of a text message conversation. The first text says, "Can you call me a taxi at 7am tomorrow?" The second text says, "Thanks dad". There is a green "Ok" bubble, and the last text, which is from "dad", says: "You're a taxi".

Nintendo Fan

The image shows two panels. The top panel shows a mother looking at a baby with a loving gaze, the mother gently holds the baby's hand and kisses it. The text reads "WHEN MOM IS ALONE WITH THE BABY." The bottom panel shows a father's hands on a baby's cheeks with a slight squeezing. The baby has a pouty, grumpy face. The text reads "WHEN DAD IS ALONE WITH THE BABY."

Nintendo Fan

The image shows a father and son sitting at a table in a restaurant. The father is looking at his son with a smile, and the son is looking back at his father with a slight smile. There is also a plate of food and a glass on the table. Above the image it says, "Waiter: Kids under 12 eat for free" and "Dad: My son wants 4 large Pizzas and one water for me".

Heroin Monkey

3:06/11:47
i Ejactulate on small children for burnie sanders and donald trump
Vsauce
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Published on Jul 3, 2015
i love to make political posts, but this time i will annoy both sides.
Follow Michael Stevens: http://www.twitter.com/tweetsauce
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The image shows four panels, each with a different SCP object class icon and a caption. The first panel shows the icon for Euclid with text: "How hard I could hit my brother". The second panel displays the Safe icon with text: "How hard I decided to hit him". The third panel shows the Keter icon with the caption: "How he described it to my dad". The fourth and final panel shows the Apollyon icon with the caption: "How my dad gonna hit me".

Anonymous

💖💖💖💖💖

The image is a text exchange between a dad and someone else. The dad asks "Are you treating my little princess ok?" The other person replies: "Sir...your little princess has anger issues and throws hands like an inmate. Yes. Things are fantastic."

Heroin Monkey

A sign that reads: "www.bridgewatercurlingclub.com. You think you can hurt my feelings. I used to hold the fleshlight for my dad."

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