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Suicide

Anonymous · 3 months ago

A black and white image in a motivational poster style. It depicts two white stick figures on a black background. On the left, a stick figure stands on a chair with a noose around its neck. On the right, another stick figure sits comfortably on a chair, holding a striped popcorn bucket labeled 'jumbo size' and eating while watching the other figure. Below the illustration, the title 'SUICIDE WATCH' is written in large white serif font, with the caption 'Hey no hurry, I bought the jumbo size' in smaller text underneath.

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Police

Big Jim · 6 months ago

They had to teach him a lesson

A photo shows three police officers (two men and one woman) standing with a young boy on a sidewalk in a residential area. The boy is holding a pizza box. The text beneath the image describes a scenario where a 15-year-old misused 911 to order pizza. The police initially delivered the pizza to teach him a lesson, followed by the dark punchline: "Then shot him 20 times."

Car

MATTIX · 1 year ago

The image shows two pictures. The first one depicts a red, blocky, homemade-looking car, and the text says, 'The car I drew as a kid'. The second picture shows a Tesla Cybertruck with the text, 'The car I drew as a kid after mom bought me a triangle ruler'.

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Question

Thoughtless · 1 year ago

A text message conversation shows someone asking an "emergency question" about where to keep a baby goat that they impulsively bought. The other person replies with "WHAT THE FUCK. ...this is a joke right?" Then, there is a picture of a baby goat with the caption "This is Billy."

Flag

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A cartoon drawing shows a woman holding a pile of different pride flags. Another woman is sitting at a desk and using a laptop. The text bubbles say: "I didn't know which one was your flag so I bought you all of them" and "Thank you" with a heart emoji.

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Xbox

MEME LORD · 1 year ago

A person is holding an Xbox box with the text "My mom bought me the Xbox".

Product

kate✨ · 2 years ago

A still from Spiderman: Into the Spider-Verse shows Miles Morales with his hands on either side of his head and his mouth open in an expression of shock and surprise. The meme text reads, "Youtubers: This product wasn't sponsored, I bought it with my own money. How they think we react."

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Lawnmower

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

A cartoon drawing shows a person with a computer monitor for a head, displaying logos for Google Chrome, Facebook, and Amazon, speaking to another person. The text says "I see you recently bought a lawnmower. Can I interest you in another lawnmower?"

Chocolate

♢ Shy Dragon ♢ · 2 years ago

Cherish you chocolate milk.

A cartoon character named Charlie is shown above a glass of chocolate milk. Text on the image states, "Charlie has bought you some chocolate milk. She shall return Wednesday."

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Bought

Heroin Monkey · 2 years ago

1) buy a lobster
[deleted] by
My friend is in forensics and works on crime
scenes. They find a woman laying on the
bathroom floor with a head wound and live
baby shrimp on the floor with a smell of burnt
residue. After 3 days of investigation, they
figured out what happened.
Long story short, she bought a lobster from
the market. In the market, they feed the
lobster live baby shrimp until they're sold. This
woman brings the lobster home, inserts the
lobster's tail into her vagina, lights a lighter
and puts the flame towards the lobster's head,
so the lobster will frantically start shaking his
tail (which is inside her vagina), giving her the
jollies. Apparently she killed the lobster from
burning his head too long, the lobster, being
dead, voids his bowels, causing this lobster to
shit live baby shrimp into her vagina. This
woman then goes to pee and sees live baby
shrimp crawling out of her vagina, she freaks
out, falls, and cracks her head open on the
bathtub and dies.
it happened in Chicago in 2001
?
---
14
1) wait for horny
Chicago 2001
"Lobster Love" Incident

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Silly Sonka · 2 years ago

Stonks

The image is split into two panels. The top panel shows a picture of Winnie-the-Pooh with a slightly displeased expression with a text next to it reading 'I bought 100 shares of stock'. The lower panel shows the 'Stonks' character looking very satisfied with a text beside it reading 'I boght 8999 sharrs of stonk.'

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Relationship

The Unknown King of Moderation · 2 years ago

The image shows two sides of a text message conversation between two people, with the text "No one: 11 yr old relationships:" above them.

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Dog

R3Y · 2 years ago

help pls find my dawg

A flyer with the text "I lost my bitchass dog again. He's ugly as fuck and keeps running away but I still love him, plus I already bought him shit and I don't wanna return the stuff. Please bring him back, his name is Señor Woofers. He probably won't respond to it cus he's a fake lil bitch though. Please contact me at 661-440-5950 or booteyeater6969@gmail.com. Reward: $5ish maybe." Below the text is a picture of a small dog with a brown wig.

Cat

The Banana Guy · 2 years ago

The meme shows two images of cats. The first cat is a cute, grey kitten with big eyes. The second cat is a tan adult cat with big eyes and buck teeth. The text on the image reads, "The cat on the internet" above the kitten image and "The cat I bought cause internet influences me to have one" above the adult cat image.

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Hacker

Hecker · 2 years ago

When Child Hackers Get Caught

A three-panel image showing a child looking hopeful with the text "THEY SAID IF I BOUGHT THE COURSE I'LL BE RICH", followed by a man looking at someone, and finally the man embracing the child on a bench outdoors.

Spiderman

Dick ass · 3 years ago

Mom just bought me this new awesome game!

A black and white image of cartoon Spiderman in a field, looking shocked. Another figure, also in black and white, is in the background. The text on top says "Spiderman Back To Work."

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Search Engine

TechPriestGotDrip · 3 years ago

Ah yes Google vs Bing

The image is a comparison between Google and Bing search results when searching for suicide-related topics. Google shows an image of a smiling man, whereas Bing shows an image with the text "kill yourself". Below, Amazon recommends buying a ladder and a rope as frequently bought together.

Ring

ǟֆɦȶօռ քǟʀӄɛֆ ツ · 3 years ago

my gf engadgement ring i bought

A hand holds a red ring box open. Inside the box is an engagement ring with a blue center stone. The text "I AM LOVED." is printed on the inside top of the box.

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Friend

Hollow Knight Is Great · 3 years ago

Off brand Hollow Knight

The image is a drawing titled "BUGGY BOY AND HIS FRIENDS" with eight cartoonish characters. Each character has a short description below it. The first is labeled "cute" and "responsible for several war crimes", the second is "pretty", the third is "mean", the fourth "goth icon", the fifth bought himself a "1 dad mug", the sixth "has had several abortions", the seventh is a "crazy man", and the last is "wittle cutie moth".