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Tech

38 views · Heroin Monkey · 14 days ago

A screenshot of a tweet from David J Phillips (@davj). The text describes his financial journey over 5 years: Year 1 - $65K (1st job); Year 2 - $72K (asked for raise); Year 3 - $137K (switched jobs); Year 4 - $35.67M (lawsuit payout from Google commuter bus hitting me); Year 5 - $146K (promotion).

Parent

50 views · Heroin Monkey · 1 month ago

A screenshot of a tweet from @drink2beers that says: "when my parents keep asking me why I don't have a girlfriend for Valentine's Day and I GENUINELY have to explain to them who Benjamin Netanyahu is". Below the text is a picture of actor Jonah Hill wearing a suit, looking exhausted with his eyes closed, rubbing the bridge of his nose/eye area in frustration.

Meme stealing license

37 views · Siri_the_Robot · 2 months ago

Many have asked and I have provided

A blank identification card template with the header "Official Meme Stealing License". On the left, there is a square box for a photo. To the right of the photo box are fields for "Name:", "Gender:", "Joined:", "Occupation:", and "Level:". At the bottom left, it says "Valid Thru:". On the bottom right, it says "Membership Type:".

Wife

26 views · Shitpost master-general · 2 months ago

A meme with text at the top: "Me When my wife asks me where our daughters heart surgery money went (the evil blackjack dealer has it)". Below the text is a close-up photo of a brown dog looking directly at the camera with a wide-eyed, shocked, or guilty expression.

People

39 views · Anonymous · 4 months ago

Kaboom

A close-up image of a smiling man with a long, grey beard and a turban. Overlaying text reads: 'PEOPLE ASK ME, "ACHMED, WHAT MAKES YOU TICK?" AND I TELL THEM, "THE TIMER."'.

Something

58 views · KillingButterflys · 4 months ago

A distorted, deep-fried image of Spongebob Squarepants with a mischievous and slightly awkward facial expression, holding a phone to his ear. Above Spongebob, white text describes a relatable social scenario.

Computer

109 views · Heroin Monkey · 5 months ago

A classroom scene where a projector displays an image of a muscular man smiling, holding up his foot which is covered in a brown spread resembling Nutella, next to a jar of Nutella. A student sits at a desk to the left with a laptop. Overlaid text reads: 'Teach forgot his computer and asked for mine 🥺'

Life

62 views · Willy b · 5 months ago

An illustration depicts a man with a mustache, wearing a dark military beret with an emblem, reflective sunglasses, and a military uniform with "Poland" on the sleeve. He holds a rifle in one hand and has a lit cigar in his mouth. The background is an orange gradient. Below the image, text reads: "In 1967, Polish mercenary Rafal Ganowicz was asked what it felt like to take human life, 'I wouldn't know, I've only ever killed communists.'"

Sequel

37 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A meme with text at the top, then two side-by-side portraits below. The text reads: 'BREAKING: When asked if 'OPPENHEIMER 2' was on the cards, Christopher Nolan remarked: 'What the fuck are you talking about?'' The left image shows director Christopher Nolan, a light-skinned man with blonde hair, wearing a dark suit and light shirt, looking directly at the camera. The right image shows Cillian Murphy as J. Robert Oppenheimer, a light-skinned man with blue eyes and a gaunt face, wearing a dark fedora and a white shirt with a dark tie, looking intensely forward.

Man

34 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A man wearing glasses and a plaid shirt stands next to a red barbecue grill, holding a can. He is wearing a blue apron that says 'DON'T ASK ME FOR THE SECRET FAMILY RECIPE'. To his right, a golden retriever dog sits on the floor, also wearing a blue apron. The dog's apron says 'I SAW THE FACE OF GOD AND IT WAS WEEPING'.

Girl

23 views · Heroin Monkey · 6 months ago

A serious-looking Homelander from the TV show 'The Boys' is featured in the bottom half of the image. The top half contains text that reads: 'When you ask a girl in your class for her number but she doesn't even have a phone yet so you just go back to teaching.' A faint watermark 'theen' is visible on the right side of Homelander's image.

Pollution

17 views · RapBoat · 7 months ago

A close-up shot of a clear bottle, likely containing a beverage, with its white plastic cap still attached to the bottle by a small piece of plastic. In the background, a bottle of Tito's Vodka and a glass with a drink and ice are visible. Text overlaid on the image asks about the manufacturing of bottle caps in Europe not fully disconnecting and states it's happening everywhere. A comment beneath the text explains it's to avoid pollution.

Cat

19 views · Paytonnn · 8 months ago

A still image of Bernie Sanders, an older man with white hair and glasses, wearing a brown winter coat, standing outdoors in a snowy or cold environment. He looks directly at the camera with a serious expression. Above the image, text reads 'Me: My cat at 4am:'. Below him, superimposed text on a dark bar reads 'I am once again asking for your constant attention and salmon.'

Etiquette

22 views · Heroin Monkey · 9 months ago

A screenshot from a social media platform shows a man with light hair and a serious expression, looking over a white building with many windows, presumably in London. Below the video, a comments section is visible. It shows the location 'London' with '67.1K people added to Favorites' and '6,140 comments'. A user named Kollado asks, 'what's the etiquette of rubbing one out under the table?' The creator, William Hanson, responds, 'You ask this on almost every video. May I suggest you seek professional help??'

Website

17 views · Swf · 9 months ago

A blurry image of a grumpy-looking white cat with black markings sitting on a patterned surface. White text overlays the image. The text reads: "I HATE WHEN WEBSITES ASK: " ARE YOU A HUMAN? " LIKE NO, I'M A DINOSAUR THAT FORGOT TO DIE 100 MILLION YEARS AGO".

Nude

21 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

An illustration shows the Joker character from Batman embracing a pregnant blue frog character wearing goggles and a vest (Crazy Frog). The background is pink with small hearts. Text overlay reads: She asked for a nude. I sent her a pic of Joker gently embracing an impregnated Crazy Frog, and she blocked me. Then I realized she wanted a nude of my body; I, a fool, sent one of my soul.

Perspective

29 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

An image shows a large golden retriever and a small terrier-like dog standing side-by-side in mud. The mud covers the smaller dog much higher than the larger dog. The text reads: "How deep is the mud? Depends on who you ask." Below the image are comments, one saying "i don't get it" and another saying "Short people have less value".

Car

35 views · Heroin Monkey · 10 months ago

A screenshot of a Twitter thread by user 'ka vinki' (@jkavinsky). The first tweet says 'getting hit by a car kinda fun fr it feels like an action movie when u roll over the hood'. The second tweet is a reply to the first, stating 'driver was crying like she killed me or something relax'. The third tweet is another reply, saying 'nurse asked me to rate the pain 1 to 10 n i said 25 n started screaming i'm getting this morphine one way or another'.

Example

7 views · Anonymous · 1 year ago

A screenshot of a Reddit post on r/NoStupidQuestions with the question "Can someone young groom someone older than them?" The post includes examples such as a 15 year old grooming a 17 year old, or a 20 year old grooming a 25 year old.

Question

7 views · Lil’ bro · 1 year ago

A cartoon character looking at the viewer, with the text "how i look at my friends before i ask the stupidest question ever."

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