Major Surgery jokes

Would you rather get a massage from a man or get major surgery from a woman?

Why did the United Nations stop the french government from using the guillotine in public?

because the french government was using the guillotine in public on newborn baby boys for circumcision.

I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.

A man woke up from a serious surgery. He screamed, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!" And the doctor replied, "I know. I amputated your arms."

After a surgery, a man claimed he couldn't feel his legs. I replied, "Of course not, I amputated your fucking arms!"

A man got in a bad car accident. He was at risk of losing his arm. The doctors had to perform complicated surgery on his arm. The man's wife visited after the surgery. The doctor came up to her and said:

"I have good news and bad news."

The wife said: "What's the good news?"

"We managed to save his arm."

"What's the bad news?"

"We couldn't save the rest of him."