Paul Walker is the best legend to go down in history. Change my mind.
There was an American wrestler from Texas named John, who throughout his high school career had never lost a match. As he went on into college he continued undefeated. He became a national icon and symbol of American strength.
News began to circulate of a Russian wrestler who was fierce and unstoppable. As each wrestler's legends grew, a match was set up between the two, America versus Russia. The match would be held in Texas.
John began training immediately. Every day his coach would tell him, “This Russian has a move called the Mongolian Death Grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian Death Grip. DO NOT let him get you in the Mongolian Death Grip.”
The day of the match finally came. Just before each wrestler stepped onto the mat in front of the capacity crowd, the coach once again said, “Whatever you do, do not let him get you in the Mongolian death grip. No one has ever escaped the Mongolian death grip.”
Four seconds into the match, the Russian had the American in the Mongolian death grip. The coach buried his face into his hands and cursed John for not listening to his advice. All of the sudden he heard the crowd irrupt in a chant of USA USA USA. He looked up and saw the Russian pinned by John. The coach ran out to meet John and embarrassingly told him, “I didn’t see... Once he had you in the Mongolian Death Grip I looked away. How in the world did you get out of the Mongolian death grip?”
With heavy breath, John told him, “Well coach, that Russian grabbed me and twisted my body in ways I never imagined possible. I was wincing in pain when I open my eyes and right in front of me were two testicles. So I bit them.”
“What???” Said the coach... “John I don’t think that is legal. You could be disqualified.”
“I don’t know about that coach. But I can tell you one thing. You ain’t got no idea how strong you are until you bite your own balls.”
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
I usually tell jokes about Kobe, but they usually crash and burn.
Jerry Garcia: I’m going on a TRIP today!
Bob Weir: Where are you going?
Jerry Garcia: I’m already on it. 😯🦄🌈
Bet y'all did not know Kobe had blue eyes! One blew east and one blew west.
Ya know, Kobe made a real impact on the earth!
Kobe ended so many games with threes. Now he ends his life with trees.
Curry hits 3s, and Kobe hit 3 trees.
Prince, don't die! Just don't! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaasse!
I would say fly high to Kobe, but obviously he didn't...
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
There was once a genie with a 10 foot weenie, and he showed it to the neighbors next door.
They thought it was a snake and hit it with a rake. Now it's only 6.4ft.
Sad to think about legend O.G. Mudbone being no longer with us.
I’m only curious how they closed his casket.
Chuck Norris used to be an orphan.
Because some families were too scared of his bravery to adopt him.
2020 was the first time Kobe had passed in years.
What do you call male mermaids?
Mer-butlers!
Give Kobe a plane ticket, he'll fly for the trip, but give Kobe a helicopter and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
I'M GOING TO HELL FOR THIS!!!
Kobe was on fire before his death. He was on fire after too.
Chuck Norris once did a roundhouse kick... and successfully completed the bottle cap challenge.