Leftover jokes

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

Waitress: You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me: No, but I'll arm wrestle you for the bill.

Yo momma's so fat, when she gets an abortion, she can feed the entire country of Africa leftovers.

This morning, I was in the kitchen, and I saw a whole bunch of leftover brownies made from scratch. I just tasted one and spit it out because somebody put some goddamn weed in them, what the fuck!

What is brown and sticky?

The leftovers of the iceberg.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

The Fast of Ramadan

In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.

For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!

Hey guys, I’m back, just wondering if anyone is still on this that wants me to make more.

I was thinking about you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.

Ran out of toilet paper, so had to start using lettuce leaves... today was the tip of the iceberg.

My ex was an orphan as a child.

I should have taken that as the first sign.

If her parents didn't want her, why would I?

Why is the rum gone?