New Kneeling Jokes

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One kneels to pray, one kneels to pay.

How do you know you’re at a gay church?

Half the congregation is kneeling.

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

Two friends wanting to find out if their buddy was gay.

The two walked up to their buddy and said, "Get down!" and he kneeled down.

I hated church growing up as a child. It was always standing, kneeling, sitting, standing, kneeling, sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and f*** me!

A man was kneeling on the church floor, crying desperately in front of the large wooden statue of Christ.

"My headphones are broken, Lord... I'm desperate... What should I do? Guide me!"

And the Lord appeared in the form of bright light, and the strong, deep voice filled the man's soul.

"WELL BUY NEW ONES, YOU DUMBASS!"

And so he did.

I always hated being born a Catholic as a kid. The way you have to keep kneeling down, bending over, and standing up all within a few minutes of each other while at church. I was always thinking, “For God’s sake, just pick a position and fuck me!”

A little boy went to church. The priest said, "Get in the following positions: stand, then kneel, then bow." The little boy replies, "Can you hurry up and f**k me already?"

The worst part about church is that you're constantly switching between sitting, standing, and kneeling. I mean, why can't the priest just pick a position and f**k me already!