June jokes

At the funeral of a family friend, I was chatting to June, an elderly lady I hadn’t seen since I was a teenager. I was thrilled when she told me what a beautiful young woman I’d become.

On the journey home, I remarked to my mother how lovely it had been to see June again.

“Yes, it’s such a shame that she’s gone blind,” she said sadly.

What is the day parents stopped fearing for their little boys? June 25, dead pedo day.

Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?

Sally.

Guys, can we change pride month to another month, please? My birthday is in June, and I'm not gay, and my friends keep making fun of me. I think we should change it to March because my brother's birthday is in March, and that'd be funny.

Q: A mom had 5 children: January, February, March, April. What is the name of the fifth child?

A: What.

Hi, welcome to June's Orphanage. You make them, we bake them. How can I help you?

An orphan walked up to St. June's Family Hospital.

Doctor: "Sorry kid, you can't be in here."

If they’re short and called Rose and born in June, they’re emo.

Little Johnny was sitting in class one day, and the teacher was talking about life. The teacher asked him, "Little Johnny, how do you want your wife to be like?" Little Johnny answered, "Like the moon." The teacher said, "That's such a beautiful answer because it's calm and peaceful." Little Johnny replied, "No, because it appears at night and disappears in the morning."

What do you call 6 gay men going to war?

Rainbow 6 Siege.

Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.

Feminists: Correct.

Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?

Roses are red, Violets are red, Sunflowers are red,

HOLY SHIT, MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE!

Why does Spiderman only have 11 months in his calendar?

Because he lost May!