Irreversibility jokes

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

What is the worst combination of illnesses?

Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.

Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.