Irreversibility jokes

What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.

I hate these double standards.

If you burn a body at a crematorium you're "doing a good job". If you do it at home you're "destroying evidence".

What's the worst thing about committing suicide? You can only do it once.

What's the only regret you would have when you eventually kill yourself? It wasn't sooner.

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

Stephen Hawking isn't really dead, he's just rebooting.

In a cruel twist of irony, Stephen Hawking's favorite song was "I've Got the Power."