Invader

Invader Jokes

Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

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3 people explored the jungles, one was was France, one from Britain, and the other from America. While exploring, they were captured by the tribe living there. The tribesmen told the three "You three have invaded our territory, so we must kill you and use your bodies to create canoes. However we aren't that heartless so we'll let you choose your deaths." So the French guy asked for a gun, pointed to his head and said "Viva la France" and shot himself. The Britain guy requested for poison and said "For the queen" and drank the poison. Lastly the American asked for a spoon, the tribesmen were confused but still gave him the spoon. When the American got the spoon, he started stabbing himself "Try make a canoe out of this one!"

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Russians think they are tuffer than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this

1 USA was NEVER invaded 2 USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does! 3 USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass Russians 4 Our soldiers don’t rape kids 5 we have more Allie’s than you 6 we are smaller but stronger 7 Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!