Immigration jokes
What's the difference between ICE and ISIS?
One of them says their prayers five times a day.
What does a Foreigner say when he comes to America?
"You're as cold as I.C.E. You're willing to sacrifice brown lives..."
If African immigrants are supposed to stay in their country, why can't their resources do the same?
Australia needs YOUR help!
ISIS brides are coming to Australia! They need to go back to where they came from. Help us before they blow us up like the terrorists they are!
What do Somalians excel at in the US?
Welfare fraud.
Yo momma's an ICE agent!
You were probably voted "Most Likely to Become an Ice agent" in school.
Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? Because they'll steal all the green cards.
What is a Mexican's least favorite type of water?
I.C.E. water.
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
What do you call a peso?
A wetback greenback.
An ICE agent tells a Mexican that he can get his green card if he can use green, pink, and yellow correctly in a sentence. The Mexican thinks for a minute and says, "My phone goes green, green, and I pink it up and say yellow."
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
For all the talk of Donald Trump loving America, most of his lovers are imported from Eastern Europe.
How can a person from Alabama tell that someone is an illegal immigrant?
If they are dating someone that isn't related to them.
I may not be as "rich" as Donald Trump, but at least I am still allowed to go on holiday to Bali, Niagara Falls, Hong Kong, and the Pyramids of Giza.
Orange Jesus can't travel to these places because these places cannot grant entry to felons.
...ah, who am I kidding? It's likely that Trump is going to prison, anyway.
"Dude, can you believe Republicans are opposed to homosexuality, women's rights, and immigration, yet they are silent when it comes to incest and child molestation?"
"Well, I'm not surprised. Republicans have to win the Alabama vote, or else."
What do you call a U.S. border hopper?
A Mexican jumping bean.
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.