Illusionist jokes
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
There was a magician on board the Titanic and said that he could make anything disappear.
Once the ship had gone down one of the passengers said to him, "Go on, so what did you do with the ship then?"
What do you call a magic owl?
HOOdini
What do you get when you mix Harry Houdini, a basketball, and the 17th president?
Magic Johnson.
A magician walks up to a girl and asks her to feel the rabbit in the magician's hat.
The magician asks the girl to rub the rabbit. The girl notices the rabbit sticks up and drools; the hat was covering the hips.
What do you call a rapper who's also a magician?
A LYRICAL ILLUSIONIST
My dad was a master of his art; being compared to Houdini. Due to his skill in disappearing.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.